Daily Archives: August 21, 2008

Booking Through Thursday: The Library Story (Again)

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So I wasn’t going to do Booking Through Thursday because I feel like I’ve answered this week’s question ad nauseum. But now it seems like everyone and their mother is doing this meme and I’m feeling all sorts of left out and really I love my “first memory of a library” story a lot – it is pretty good, at least I think so. So I’ll be brief and actually just quote another post in which I answered this and move on (cause if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, am I right?), but at least anyone who doesn’t know how gullible I am can enjoy this short story. So here is my earliest memory of going to the library:

I don’t know exactly when or why I decided that I LOVED reading, but I know my grandmother and my father always encouraged it – my grandma loved to take me to the library or our local bookstore when I was visiting her and I remember one of the first times we went to the library together, I asked her how many books I could get – and there was no limit, but somehow she felt I wouldn’t understand that so she made up a really big number, that I couldn’t possibly want more than – 17 I think. So I was holding something like 8 books and said, “Oh good, I can get 9 more” and the librarian’s jaw dropped because apparently that was really impressive math for a kid my age (I was reading picture books then). And then I went back and got the other 9 books, which surprised my grandma, too. The really impressive thing is I’m sure I read all 17 books and went back within a week for 17 more. It wasn’t until a LONG time later, that I realized she’d been joking about the limit, and by then the books I was reading were much to big to take out 17 at a time.

What is your earliest memory of the library? If you blog about it today be sure to link up at Booking Through Thursday.

What Keeps Me Up At Night : John Mayer's Love Life

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*Disclaimer* After spending the majority of my lunch today worrying that any one of the celebrities mentioned in this post might be googling themselves and come across this blog, I became concerned that they might be insulted by my humor, get their feelings hurt, poke an eye out, that kind of thing. I’d like to state for the record that this blog post is meant to be humorous and is not meant to be taken seriously. I think it goes without saying that I believe John Mayer is perfectly capable of picking his own girlfriends and I do not claim to actually know anything about the intelligence levels of anyone in question or the true nature of their personalities and activities for that matter.  In fact I am hoping that through this post I have managed to poke fun at the notion of taking the lives of celebrities and the things we read online about them seriously. I hope if John Mayer is reading this that he is thinking something along the lines of, “Good one, Jen” or “You’re right, I should give JNatalie a call…” You get the point right? We can all have a good laugh now and enjoy ourselves without worrying about hurt feelings and / or libel? Okay, read on…

Despite knowing full well I’d be getting up gawd awful early this morning, I had a hard time sleeping last night. I suppose that in and of itself is nothing new, but the reason was certainly a first for me. You see, I was up all night, worried and thinking about who John Mayer should date next. Yes seriously. Now that he and Jen Aniston have split up, I’ve been wondering, “Where does he go from here?” What would be a good fit for our Johnny?

When I first heard he was dating Jessica Simpson I have to admit I was a little shocked and a little disappointed (maybe wrongfully so, I don’t know, having never met the girl, but I did see her reality show with Nick way back when, and I did learn she’s never done her own laundry, and well…), so their break up did not bother so much as thrill me. Fast forward to me hearing he was dating Jennifer, and while I was surprised I was also pleased. She is so gorgeous and clearly has a head on her shoulders. She’s the picture of grace and beauty… And really? Why was she dating John Mayer again? Maybe after seeing herself in The Good Girl it made her think she should be less of an adult, but really, Jennifer, you are perfect the way you are and I can’t see you being happy with John in the long run either…

Not knowing the specifics of both break ups, I can only speculate that he left Jessica because it got tiring to be forever smarter than his girlfriend no matter how admittedly gorgeous she is. Jennifer being the exact opposite, terribly smart – was perhaps too smart for him? But more likely simply too old – not to say that she is OLD because she’s not – but she might be too old for HIM maturity wise? Do you follow me? Are my self-inflicted censorings getting in the way of my humor? Anyway, I’m thinking she probably broke up with him, because she just doesn’t strike me as someone many men would walk away from, except maybe for Ms. Jolie aka Wonder Woman.

So what John needs is someone who is not beneath him, but also not above him. If she could have an interest in being light green, that might be a good thing. She should be okay with spotlight but not a paparazzi fiend. A little sarcastic and totally good looking, because he clearly has high standards where looks are concerned. Seriously. And maybe she should be a bit of an underdog, a bit of a Goonie, perhaps? And I hope she likes Count Chocula and men who use the word ratio in love songs… Seriously, I don’t need to link to anything for you to get that right? We’re all die hard fans, correct?

I hear he likes to have a good time with his fans from time to time, and while this doesn’t necessarily bother me I’m hoping that the right woman would break him of that habit, because it’s not good long term publicity to mess with your fans – we all know it happens and I’m sure the tween fans probably love it, but let’s think realistically. Let’s think long term.

With that in mind, I don’t think he should start a serious relationship for like, lets say, at least two weeks. Or it will be doomed to fail from the start – it will be so clearly a rebound thing that nobody will ever take it seriously. But so, let’s say, September? So after thinking about this all night I’ve narrowed it down to two (2) potential girlies, but I’d prefer a list of three (3) before making a final decision, anyway, here are my two nominees:

1) Mary Kate Olsen – I wasn’t sure at first which twin would be best for our Johnny – both are obviously of equal good looks, but then I think, really what do we know of Miss Ashley other than that she doesn’t seem to get into the same shenanigans as her sister (Shenangians is both an awesome word and a fun thing to do, by the way)? So for a moment I thought Ashley would be perfect, but really, she might be a little too boring for John and not quite edgy enough. That’s not to say she is boring by nature, but might be bored herself talking about his hair for hours on end… MK – she’s edgy, and she’d get John’s crazy side in a way that I don’t think Ashley would – she’d run her fingers through his hair if he ever grows it back – Now I may be misjudging Ash – I’m sure growing up the twin of Ms. Edgy might help her to appreciate John’s funky side, but I think she’d already be tired of being the second wheel to that. But would MK be GOOD for John or just fun? I’m not sure. Also, maybe he watched Full House a lot growing up and feels this would be too pervy a choice? But I don’t think they are that far off in age and they would make a cute couple, don’t you think? DH seems to think it would be okay – apparently in high school he thought she was super hot. Maybe John did, too? BUT it may be too soon for MK to start dating someone new and famous, with that whole Heath Ledger thing still fresh in all of our minds… what was that about?

2) Natalie Portman – After seeing Nat’s SNL video awhile back, it became clear that there were many sides to Ms. Portman that I was not aware of – which I think John would like – she’s not sugary sweet, she’s got edge, but she also seems very good at avoiding bad publicity, seeing as I can recall nothing bad about her at all. And she cares about Africa! And shoes! She can juggle having skits on Sesame Street and having fun spoofs on SNL – her projects (you know, movies) are varied but always good. She seems to have good taste and um hello she’s gorgeous. She is currently my favorite but I’m just not sure. DH thinks she’s too good for John Mayer, but he might be biased. Then I worried that since his last two girlfriends were named Jennifer and Jessica, and his name being John, that maybe there is a name requirement? Jennifer Love Hewitt? I really don’t feel like throwing up today. And maybe another Jennifer would be in bad taste? What does that leave us with? Natalie, would you be up for a name change? Perhaps JNatalie?

So I think we need one more nominee before we can put this up for a vote, but I’m fresh out of great idea – anyone have any suggestions? I’d like to take care of this post haste because September is fast approaching, and I’ll be on vacation by then, so matters will be left up to John largely by then and you know he has a busy schedule so the less prospects he has to weed through, the better, am I right?

So, who do you think John Mayer should date next?:

a) Mary Kate

b) JNatalie

- edit w/ write ins: -

c) Anna Faris

d) Keira Knightley

e) Scarlett Johansson

f) any other write-ins?

Thursday 13: Christmas in September

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Last week, I told you the thirteen things at Storyland in NH that had me excited for out upcoming vacation to the White Mountains this September. This week I’ll follow that theme and show you thirteen really cool things at SANTAS VILLAGE.

1. The Elfabet Game: My son is fantastic at pointing out all the letters of the alphabet – so I have to wonder how he’ll fare at learning the Elfabet Game. Only at Santa’s Village can you play this game. Apparently it is their mission to find all 26 Elves located throughout the park. There will be a special prize for children who play this game! I wonder if MM can win the prize? Also you can ask to take a picture with each elf, and you know I’ll want to do that! Talk about an easy way to get some great pictures for the ole’ scrapbook!

2. The Christmas Carousel: Apparently this reindeer carousel has lots of fun built in. Well for me the fun is that MM should be old enough to really get a kick out of riding on his own reindeer! I always loved riding carousels and this one looks absolutely perfect!

3. The Peppermint Twist: It’s really just a tug boat riding the waves, but it looks like the perfect First Roller Coaster to m!

4. Sugar n’ Spice Bake Shop: You may have noticed that I have a bit of a sweet tooth, well according to the Santa’s Village website, you can decorate your own gingerbread man (or lady) at the Sugar n’ Spice Bake Shop. Check out this cute review from a Santa’s Village-goer: “These cookies are the best in all the world.” –Steven Everit, age 11.

5. The Snowball Mall: “Santa’s Helpers have searched the globe looking for that special something… Yule always remember this day at Santa’s Village.” And really what’s better than a “mall” at Santa’s Village than catchy advertising? I’m thinking not much.

6. The Stocking Stuffer Shop: Supposedly the best place to pick up last minute (or terribly early) stocking stuffers. They sell souvenir items, really cute tees and sweats too. I have some pretty gigantic Christmas Stockings (actually each person in the family has 2, but that’s another LONG story) so maybe this store will help me to fill them all!

7. North Pole Workshop: Here you can “put on your apron and become an official “Santa’s Helper.” Here’s where yule create your own t-shirt by placing your hand where Rudolph’s antlers go. We’ll press it permanent for your best memorable shirt. There’s also Candle Art, Sand Art, Glitz & Glitter and Wood Ornaments, Tree-Decorating and much more. Lots of interactive hand-made crafts here!” Can you tell I’m loving their little “Santa-themed” jokes and cute advertisements? But that’s not the only thing about Santa’s Village I’m excited about…

8. It’s the only time I’ll be able to take MM’s picture with Santa in a month that isn’t December, and it won’t be in a lame mall or bank, either! “Santa is always available to greet his guests. Usually he can be found at his home, sitting in his big green chair.” I’m thinking we can come up with some pretty terrific Christmas Card photos long before the rest of the world does (or at least long before everyone who doesn’t go to Santa’s Village this year… It’ll be awesome alright – work with me!

9. How often do you get to experience the magic of Christmas without the mayhem of shoveling out your driveway and getting sand and muck and grime all over your car? My least favorite thing about Christmas has always been the downside to the admittedly pretty White Christmas-esque weather. No worries of that for this trip!  Wednesday September 3rd at least has a predicted high of 79 degrees, so I’m thinking we’re In The Clear where this is concerned. If there is any white christmas moments, they will surely be artificial!

10. Another nursing friendly locale! I cannot wait to come here another year with a nursing babe! But anyone with a small child can appreciate this: they have a Mary and Joseph’s Nursery located off the Polar Theater lobby with a large sink, microwave, changing stations, and separate rooms for nursing moms with chairs for those who desire privacy.

11. We can visit with reindeer and feed them cookies or at least let MM pet them! “Here, guests can learn some facts about these magical animals. Reindeer Games are also played in their barnyard—with sticky rewards for our gamers!” And honestly, who doesn’t love a good reindeer game – like monopoly? I wonder if Rudolph is good at playing Monopoly? Do you think he like always gets Boardwalk in like every game and Dasher and Donner are always like, “Rudolph, this is why nobody wanted to play reindeer games with you!” I bet that’s the real reason and not just cause he had a read nose! Cause you know it’s cold in the north pole, I bet they all get red noses sometimes!

12. DH can buy me a custom made ring from the Village Smithy at the Reindeer Shoe Shop. According to their website, ““Good Luck Rings” are especially made to fit the finger of choice. Children have been collecting these for over 50 years. This is a signature tradition here at Santa’s Village.” So yeah we’ll definitely have to get a ring, dear, it’s tradition – and you know, you don’t mess with tradition. It simply isn’t done. Okay maybe we’ll get MM something, too. I suppose not buying your kid a souvenir or two or a dozen simply isn’t done as well, huh?

13. We’ll be able to teach MM all about the spirit of Christmas a full 4 months in advance through a fun “one of a kind Christmas Spectacular - here’s a synopsis: “Toy Production at the North Pole is in full swing and the final preparations for Christmas are underway! But before Santa can hitch up the sleigh and head out, he has to make sure that everyone’s Holiday Spirit is in tip top shape! With the help of some of the North Pole’s finest Elves, and of course the very famous Stumpy, the magical Christmas Tree, everyone’s holiday spirit will be put to the ultimate test!”

For more Thursday Thirteen fun be sure to head to the T13 hub!