mommablogsalot.com

It’s hard to believe that another month has come and gone. It literally feels like just three days ago or something I was writing the Nightstand post for March but nope, the calendar agrees that it’s been a whole month.

When I left you last I was reading Never Tell Our Business To Strangers by Jennifer Mascia and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, I finished both and reviewed them here and here respectively.

Since finishing them I have picked up two more books but haven’t finished either yet – and actually to be honest, I guess I am reading three right now since I impatiently picked up a third book the other day. So right now I am reading:

1. The Spellmans Strike Again by Lisa Lutz (fourth in a series that I am devouring at a rapid pace)
2. Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat by Michelle May (diet / self help book that, like all nonfiction for me, is slow going but still fascinating)
3. The Naked Buddha by Adrienne Howley (I’ve only just started it but I have already been prattling on about it incessantly – see example here)

I have a feeling that I won’t finish all of these and pick something else up before my next nightstand post, but if I do it will probably be…

• The Lightening Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Book One) by Rick Riordan – My husband just finished the first three and has declared it fantastic so I’ll be wanting to read this soon.

So what’s on your nightstand right now? Tell me about it in the comments below or write your own post and link up at 5 Minutes For Books!

It’s not typical of me to read more than one book at a time but with the rate that it’s been taking me to get through one book lately, I’ve decided to make my life harder by trying to read more than one book at a time. I’ve started reading non-fiction during the day when I’m feeling all inquisitive and intelligent and fiction at night when I just want to relax and have a good laugh.

I suppose I could just read the one book all day but so far this is working for me because now I get to read the latest Spellman Files book, The Spellmans Strike Again by Lisa Lutz, a great new book on food and dieting that is so not typical of books on that subject (Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat by Michelle May) and The Naked Buddha by Adrienne Howley all at the same time which is such a fun mixture and I’m actually enjoying all three books equally which is always a nice treat.

Anyway, I expect to have a lot to say about all three books when I eventually review them – but I just picked up The Naked Buddha today and started reading it at the coffee shop while BB and I had a light snack while MM was at the Y – and it just immediately made me sit up straight and take notice. I’ve been interested in Buddhism for a couple years now in so far as, “Buddhism sounds like it must be neat but I don’t really know anything about it.”

If you know me, you likely know that although religion interests me, organized religion tends to get under my skin. I had a good go of it with a Unitarian Universalist Church back in New England but felt a bit lack luster about the local one here and in general decided that I didn’t have the energy at the time to continue going to church every week. I knew that I wasn’t there for a religious reason so much as for intellectual stimulation and I decided to continue my intellectual pursuits in private. I’ve always felt that any idea of religion or spirituality is a personal, private matter when you get down to it, and also that there are better uses of my time. Agree with me or disagree with me as you will, I’m not looking to spark a debate, just laying the ground work for how I came to pick up this book which I can now explain in two parts:

The first part, is that the “minister” of the UU church in New England happened to also be Buddhist. That was the cool thing about that church – the followers came from all walks of life and few of them agreed about religion – some were atheists, others Christians or Jews – and even Buddhists. How do they all manage to get along within one church and why do they go anyway? Well they all agreed that “religions” were all basically the same at the root of it all and that the purpose for a church should be for people to get together and spread the idea of living a decent, ethical life and helping the community and world around them in any way they can. And when I heard that our “minster” was Buddhist I thought – how very cool. If we’d stayed in the area longer, I no doubt would have asked her more about it, but we moved less than a year after finding them.

Then, a month ago or so, I started to finally read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert – a book which has sat on my bookshelf for a long, long, embarrassingly long time – but I finally read it (and loooooved it to pieces) and there it was again, that Buddhism thing. And again I thought, “I really need to find out what Buddhism is all about.” Because I had this feeling, this hunch, that there was something there for me. So after my husband refused to let me spend money to buy a book about it, my interests tending to lean towards fleeting and my bookshelf tending to lean towards collapsing at any second due to the sheer volume of books I’m asking it to hold; I went to the library last week and picked up two books on the subject – actually one on Buddhism and one just on meditation. The Naked Buddha being the first.

(Man can I ramble on or what? I am really sorry if this is confusing you.)

So – yes – I picked up the book and although I’m only 28 pages into it, I already have stuff I want to mention here, get written down on cyber paper before I forget it. Because Dan isn’t home for me to go OMG to and prattle on, I thought I’d prattle on to you and pretend to be very clever and well written while doing so. And so for anyone still reading, who hasn’t bored of this very, very lengthy introduction or maybe skipped down to get to the good bits because you, too, have a vague interest in Buddhism, let’s begin:

Quotes and Commentary and Stuff on the First 28 pages of The Naked Buddha by Adrienne Howlet:

What I find most interesting about Buddhism is that the Buddha taught for forty years and then invited his followers not to believe a word he had told them until they investigated it for themselves. He did not demand unquestioned obedience and devotion, unlike many who set themselves up as teachers of Buddhism today. He taught alertness, constant investigation and clear-sightedness, among other things. – from the Introduction (page XIII)

She goes on to mention that Buddha never claimed to be a God, a child of God, or even a prophet. He did not set about to create a religion in any sense of the word, but simply to enlighten people on how to best deal with and understand suffering in the world. And I like that he emphasizes that people who listen to what he has to say should then investigate it for themselves and make up their own mind. This was perhaps the first thing I read in this book that made me think, “ah ha.” I firmly believe in thinking for yourself – and I’m sure I’m not alone in that.

Although I can’t say for certain, having not actually been around when he was alive, it seems to me that Buddha never intended his teachings to be religious in the typical sense of the word at all – he seemed to be much more focused on the here and now than the afterlife. Howlet writes on page 16:

He consistently refused to contend with his questioners on any subject of a metaphysical nature. He neither agreed nor disagreed, telling such questioners that imaginative speculation on certain subjects was useless.

She goes on to say on page 18:

… that whatever opinion one might have about the questions asked [about the afterlife], there still remained the very real problems of birth, old age, decay, death, sorrow, pain, grief and distress… To explain these matters, he said, was useful and helpful in avoiding unskillful behavior and gaining nonattachment, tranquility and full realization.

On page 25 she really sums it up best with:

For the Buddha, everything outside the range of experience was speculation. If people believed that countless reincarnations were necessary for enlightenment and spent time in speculation on this, they were wasting time. For those who sought enlightenment in this life, time was more precious.

So, I can only assume that whether the Buddha was at all religious or not, that had little to do with what he was aiming to teach. If Howlet is correct, I’d imagine that the Buddha and I would agree that dwelling on the afterlife seems rather … unimportant … when there is still the here and now to contend with.

And you know I don’t claim to have all the answers, having read my hefty 28 pages or so on Buddhism. I am just giddily quoting to you the stuff I thought was kind of awesome, that I sort of think I might agree with. I can’t help but marvel that twenty five hundred years ago some really smart guy named Siddhartha might have felt what I feel and thought what I think, at least to an extent. And he’s legendary, you know?

Anyway, I know you are probably getting antsy but I do have one more topic I wanted to mention. Howlet also briefly explained the Buddhist views on vegetarianism – a topic which also interests me. We’ve been eating a largely pescetarian diet for awhile now ever since I got a little too upset about the meat industry and how animals are treated in slaughterhouses and so forth. We kept seafood in our diet because it seemed fairly easy to get a hold of wild caught seafood but even now, as easy as it is, I find I miss some meats.

And it isn’t just the eating of the animal that bothers me, although it makes me a bit sad or maybe just compassionate, it’s really the life that animal led up until it got on my plate that bothers me. Howlet writes on page 19 that:

If there is anything close to a commandment, it is this – THINK. Think about what you are doing, why you are doing it and what could be some of the most likely outcomes. In this respect, Buddhists attempt to act skillfully rather than unskillfully to avoid extremes of behavior. They attempt to follow what Buddhists call the middle way.

That bit about the middle way immediately caught my attention because I tend to be a really moderate person – you know those personality quizzes where you rate yourself on a 1 to 10 and find out what political persuasion or religion or romantic type you are? Yeah, I’m almost always FIVES. The middle. Anyway, she continues…

Naturally, you can do only the best you can. Vegetarianism is easy in countries where fruits and vegetables are easily grown. Where extensive raising of vegetables for food is not part of the culture, such as in Tibet or Mongolia, meat is a necessary part  of the diet. In China and Japan, fish and soybean products provide necessary protein. Fowl, eggs and fish do this in other cultures.

…If it is ever necessary to kill to eat, the Buddhist does so with compassion. Thanking the bird or animal sharpens the awareness that this animal is a suffering sentient being, just as you are. Responsibility for your actions always lies with yourself in Buddhism.

This really made me think. She also mentions that when the nuns and monks were begging for food that the Buddha advised them to eat whatever was given – and to never ask that anything be killed for them. This was more about being gracious for what was offered and not being picky. But I like the idea of simply being practical and compassionate. And that nothing has to be extreme or all or nothing. Do what makes sense today is what I take from this and I like that.

We actually talked about the whole meat or no meat thing recently and agreed that we’re planning to continue not buying meat at home – mostly because it’s easier to prep and clean up a vegetarian dish and it’s a little bit cheaper and often times healthier. But if we find ourself with access to farm raised (non corn-fed, etc.) meat or we are at a nice restaurant, we might treat ourselves (or really I might treat my husband who, god bless him, is mostly just doing this for me). This might sound like a cop out to you, but to me, it’s just sensible and knowing that all I’m asking of myself is to be compassionate and aware is enough for me.

I am not an Extreme and the world is not black and white. I am capable of thinking and changing and growing and making my own decisions today and tomorrow, doing what works best for me, my family and the situation. Make of that what you will.

Anyway, I think that’s enough babbling for today. To anyone who read all of this – you’re basically a rock star and deserve an Ultimate Bloggy Buddy Badge of Honor. Unfortunately I’m fresh out of those right now, so I’ll have to get back to you on that. ;o)

Several years ago I bought a copy of Eat, Pray, Love for my stepmother for her birthday or Christmas, I can’t recall which. I hadn’t read the book but from what I gathered in the hubub of the Book World, it was the current It Book. Knowing she was a book-lover like myself, I figured she’d like it – not that I knew much about it other than what I gathered from the cover – traveling, pasta, pretty love story. I think she did. But I still didn’t read it myself for years, even after picking up a used (and clearly well-loved) copy for myself, it sat on my bookshelf for a long time, whispering, “Not yet.”

But I finally picked it up a few weeks ago and this time, I read a few paragraphs and knew instantly, “Man, this is the book for me.” I could tell within the first few chapters that I was going to fall in love with this memoir of a divorced thirty something who travels the world to find herself (I also thought to myself, God I hope Marie didn’t get the wrong message when I gave her this book). And every night as I giddily read passages aloud to my husband and dog eared favorite pages to remember later, I fell deeper and deeper and more passionately in love with her story.

I found myself dreaming of visiting each of the three countries that she stayed in for four months each. So depending on which section of the book I was reading, I became accordingly passionate about the Italian language and pasta, or Buddhism and meditation or Bali and Indonesia and “Ohh we should really take a vacation there,” and so on. And through it all, I became more and more convinced that Elizabeth Gilbert and I are twin spirits. I get her – and I think if we ever met, we’d probably get on famously. So many times, I read a passage (and then read it aloud to my husband of course) and it was like reading a paragraph out of my own mind.

So, to put all my dog earing to hopefully good use, let’s pretend you are my husband and I am reading aloud to you now from some of my favorite passages and then eagerly spewing my own thoughts accordingly. Mkay?

In the end, what I have come to believe about God is simple. It’s like this – I used to have this really great dog. She came from the pound. She was a mixture of about ten different breeds, but she seemed to have inherited the finest features of them all. She was brown. When people asked me, “What kind of dog is that?” I would always give the same answer: “She’s a brown dog.” Similarly, when the question is raised, “What kind of God do you believe in?” my answer is easy: “I believe in a magnificent God.”

I got pretty nervous about my love affair with this book when I realized how religious it was going to be. I am not a typical religious person, despite having a keen interest in Spirituality, I get pretty annoyed with denominations and religious sects and the battles between them all – like any one religion can really think they’ve got it all figured out. But Gilbert, to an extent, seems to be on the same page as me – which made the book so much more enjoyable and intriguing.

If you ask a Protestant from the American Midwest to commit to a dinner date next week, that Protestant, believing that she is the captain of her own destiny, will say, “Thursday night works fine for me.” But if you ask a Catholic from Calabria to make the same commitment, he will only shurg, turn his eyes to God, and ask, “How can any of us know whether we will be free for dinner next Thursday night, given that everything is in God’s hands and none of us know our fate?”

This passage really made me laugh because although I am not originally from the midwest and my husband is not from Italy (and not terribly religious these days) I still see us in this quote. I was a lukewarm Protestant at birth and I have this incessant need to plan my life and organize it – I am always ten minutes early, even when it might have served me better to be casually late. My husband, Catholic born and bred, would much prefer to swing it, go with the flow and get there when he gets there. He doesn’t plan, he follows me happily wherever I’m going and seems to have this understanding that everything will fall into place. And he’s usually right, the bugger.

Like must humanoids, I am burdened with what the Buddhists call the “monkey-mind” – the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl. From the distant past to the unknown future, my mind swings wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined.

Whenever I’ve thought about meditation in the past, I think, “There is no way I could do this.” How am I supposed to get my mind to shut up and let me concentrate? But reading about Gilbert’s experiences with meditation – although never easy, as she is inflicted with the Money Mind like me, it worked – she figured it out (finding it to be much simpler than she’d anticipated) and it really worked wonders for her. It should be unsurprising that I picked up a small paperback on meditation at the library last week.

I am looking forward to trying out some mantras and giving meditation a shot now, not so much in an effort to “Find God” as to learn to control my mind and maybe relax more throughout the day. I might give this mantra a try first:

Ham-sa. In Sanskrit it means “I am That.” The Yogis say that Ham-sa is the most natural mantra, the one we were all given by God before birth. It is the sound of our own breath. Ham on the inhale, sa on the exhale. (Ham, by the way, is pronounced softly, openly, like hahhhm, not like the meat you put on a sandwich. And sa rhymes with “Ahhhh….”) As long as we live, every time we breathe in or out, we are repeating this mantra. I am That. I am divine, I am with God, I am an expression of God. I am not separate, I am not alone, I am not this limited illusion of an individual.”

And of course this book was not all about religion – it was about travel, about food and diet, about love. Especially about love. Of course the book begins with her getting a divorce, but she falls in love again after that, and again much later – and talks about love and her patterns a lot throughout the book.

I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and then I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been the victim of my own optimism.

Seriously.

So basically – I am still, after having finished this book – basically it’s biggest fan – her writing style is fresh and engaging and her story is so amazing that it sometimes baffles me that it’s nonfiction. Elizabeth Gilbert is one of my new favorite authors (she’s my home girl you could say) and I am eagerly looking forward to reading her other books, especially her latest book, Committed, which essentially picks up where the last book left off.

Never Tell Our Business To Strangers: A Memoir by  Jennifer Mascia

Grade: B+

As a parent, I often think about how differently children see the events happening around them. Sometimes they see the sweet details we overlook, sometimes they miss the bigger picture – for better or for worse. I know that looking back on my own childhood, I wonder sometimes about the dots that I failed to connect and the back stories of the people I grew up with.

Author Jennifer Mascia is a nightside news assistant at the NY Times Metro Desk. She’s also the daughter of Johnny and Eleanor Mascia who married after Johnny served twelve years in prison for murder – both had been married before. After violating his parole, Johnny spent several months in jail again when their daughter, Jennifer, was five years old – but the reasons for his first stint in jail and the details of their past lives were not revealed to Jennifer for a long time.

I was five when the FBI came for my father. When they arrived, agents cuffed my father and took him away. I turned to my mom’s boss, also a family friend of ours, and asked him, “Jesse, are they arresting my Daddy?” “No, honey,” Jesse replied, kneeling down next to me. “It’s not real. They’re making a movie.”

It does sound like a movie – a plot you’d think sounded so intense and crazy it could only be scripted – but the sordid past of Johnny and Eleanor is also the story of Jennifer’s life and she spent her life uncovering, often questioning the truth behind the explanations she was given – which often deserved questioning as she would come to find as everyone seemed to determined to protect her from the truth at all costs – or perhaps to protect themselves from the truth, worried she might not love them if she knew everything. But her inquisitive nature always begged her to learn more.

So down, down the rabbit hole she went – after a childhood on the lam, a life of maxing out credit cards and evading the law, Jennifer started to question a life she’d previously assumed was normal and she found half siblings, secrets, past loves, indiscretions, lies, betrayal, shocking offenses, drug addiction, tax evasion, and on and on. The story of her parent’s marriage and lives before meeting is a long one, with a lot of factors that added up to the story of Jennifer’s life. But the more she learned about her parent’s past, the more she loved them for better and for worse. Though sometimes disappointed in their choices, it never made her love them less – just more honestly.

I was surprised at how often I related to this story – despite all of the crazy details of the Mascia family past, there was also always a real family at the root of it all. Parents who loved each other but weren’t perfect, an inquisitive child who made her share of mistakes, too. The fear that we might grow up to repeat our parents mistakes and the comfort in knowing we’ll inherit their good qualities, too. The scary moments of stepping out of the lives of our childhood and into adulthood – breaking away from our parents to become our own person.

I am always fascinated by the back stories of the things we hear in the news – how did they get to that point, I find myself asking and this book delivered a ton of that and a very in depth look at family and love and loss. The hardest chapters for me were the detailed descriptions of her parents’ struggles with cancer and ultimate deaths – as I’m sure they were the hardest parts for the author to write. Sometimes I found myself thinking, “why am I reading this?” but I found I couldn’t put it down even in the hardest times, which I think is quite possibly how the author must have felt when seeking out the answers to her questions about her parents’ past. For better or for worse, she needed to know the whole truth of it in order to make peace with the whole story.

It was never an easy read by any means, but one I definitely feel better for having read and would recommend to anyone. You will laugh, you will likely cry – you might consider putting it  down once or twice, thinking, “Do I really want to know more?” only to answer with a resounding YES.

You can find out more about Jennifer Mascia and her memoir at www.jennifermascia.com.

Disclaimer: I received the above mentioned book for review purpose but was not monetarily compensated in any way. Thanks to Ballantine/Random House for this review and giveaway opportunity.

This is a sticky post – which means it’s probably not the newest content. If you’ve read this already – feel free to scroll down and see what’s new!

Spring is in the air and it’s time for one of Katrina’s legendary reading challenges – the Spring Reading Thing 2010 has begun! What I love about Kat’s reading challenges is the laid back atmosphere. You set the number of books you want to read and any other guidelines and then check in with your progress. It’s very much tailored to your needs and limitations and time.

What makes it different from just reading whatever you want, whenever you want? You are setting a reading goal and holding yourself accountable – and you get fellow challengers for cheerleaders. Plus, your TBR pile can get even bigger as you look through their reading lists and go, “Ohhh that book looks great! I want to read that, too!”

Anyway, I like to set challenges for myself that I know are unlikely but I’m keeping it relatively tame this spring with a list of SEVEN (7) books I’d like to read before Summer:

• Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
• What the Dickens: The Story of a Rogue Tooth Fairy by Gregory Maguire
• Nefertiti by Michelle Moran
• The Shop on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber
• Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell
• The Lightening Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Book One) by Rick Riordan
• The Bonesetter’s Daughter by Amy Tan

(for an explanation of the strike-throughs, see my edits below)

What books will you be reading this Spring?

- edit (the first of many, I’d imagine) -

It’s now April 20th – and one month into the challenge and although I’ve read 2 books since it started and just picked up two more – none of those four books are on this list. I don’t see how I can possible finish my actual challenge at this rate so I am going to list the books I’ve read and am reading and modify my original list a bit.

So far I’ve read:

1. Never Tell Our Business To Strangers by Jennifer Mascia – Finished April 2, 2010 – This is the memoir of Jennifer Mascia who tells the story of a childhood on the lam, intricate family secrets and betrayals and the incredible power to love. It’s strangely relatable when you are not expecting it to be – and more powerful than I anticipated. I laughed, I cried… clichéd but it’s true. – full review -
2. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert – Finished April 16, 2010 – This book has sat on my bookshelf for years, waiting for me to read it. I can’t believe it took me so long, looking back – it is incredible. I loved every page, every paragraph. Gilbert is an incredible writer and her story was just as good – I almost can’t believe it’s nonfiction. I look forward to reading her other books. – full review -
3. The Spellmans Strike Again by Lisa Lutz – Finished April 25, 2010 – I always love a good Spellman Files book and this one was no exception. Lutz’ series is like nothing I’ve ever read before and it’s quite an indulgence. Couldnotputitdown. Quite possibly her best one yet! – full review -
4. Sweet Life by Mia King – Finished May 8, 2010 – This was my first Mia King book and I really enjoyed it – a good old fashioned chick lit book that made you laugh, cry, etc. It touches on a lot of topics that I think any mother can relate to and even comes with some yummy recipes! – full review -
5. The Lightening Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Book One) by Rick Riordan – Finished May 19, 2010 – This series is becoming very popular and I can see why. It combines a lot of very cool themes and ideas, some trendy, some slightly more novel. I think it’s a really cool way to introduce kids to Greek mythology and it touches on a lot of other cool, interesting things, too. Great for kids ; for adults, I would warn that it can feel a little predictable sometimes and in the beginning especially, it might feel really obvious that you are reading a book intended for kids, but it definitely sucked me in at the end and I plan to read Book 2 soon.
6. Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat by Michelle May- Finished May 19, 2010 - I really enjoyed this book – it’s not necessarily new information but it’s definitely something I think a lot of people should read and know. This is not a diet book – it will not tell you how much of whatever to necessarily eat or do or not eat or do. It’s about relearning how to eat instinctively and to not feel guilty about your decisions. I’d definitely recommend it. – full review -
7. The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan – Finished June 9, 2010 – I really enjoyed this memoir. It describes Kelly’s battle with breast cancer but also talks about that middle place in your life where you are both a child and a parent, and has a lot of stories from her childhood up to present date. Really beautifully written.

And I’m currently reading:

• What Your Preschooler Needs to Know by E.D. Hirsch
• The Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson, Book 2) by Rick Riordan

The books I plan to read after I’ve finished my current books are:

1. Nefertiti by Michelle Moran
2. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer
3. The Shop on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber

I’ve got a great treat for you – it combines two of my favorite things: books and free stuff. You see, author Fiona Robyn has decided to blog her novel, Thaw, bit by bit over the next few months so that you can read it for free! Thaw is the diary of Ruth who you will meet in the first entry below. You can continue reading tomorrow here.

These hands are ninety-three years old. They belong to Charlotte Marie Bradley Miller. She was so frail that her grand-daughter had to carry her onto the set to take this photo. It’s a close-up. Her emaciated arms emerge from the top corners of the photo and the background is black, maybe velvet, as if we’re being protected from seeing the strings. One wrist rests on the other, and her fingers hang loose, close together, a pair of folded wings. And you can see her insides.

I’ve always wanted to write my own journal, and this is my chance. Maybe my last chance. The idea is that every night for three months, I’ll take one of these heavy sheets of pure white paper, rough under my fingertips, and fill it up on both sides. If my suicide note is nearly a hundred pages long, then no-one can accuse me of not thinking it through. No-one can say, ‘It makes no sense; she was a polite, cheerful girl, had everything to live for,’ before adding that I did keep myself to myself. It’ll all be here. I’m using a silver fountain pen with purple ink. A bit flamboyant for me, I know. I need these idiosyncratic rituals; they hold things in place. Like the way I make tea, squeezing the tea-bag three times, the exact amount of milk, seven stirs. My writing is small and neat; I’m striping the paper. I’m near the bottom of the page now. Only ninety-one more days to go before I’m allowed to make my decision. That’s it for today. It’s begun.

Continue reading here.

It’s time again for a monthly peek into my reading past, present and future with the What’s On Your Nightstand meme hosted by 5 Minutes For Books.

Last month’s predictions were remarkably spot on. Here’s what I read (or tried to read) in the last month:

1. Get Financially Naked by Sharon Kedar and Manisha Thakor – Finished January 29, 2010 – This is a great book for anyone struggling to talk finances with their spouse or loved one – or for anyone new to thinking about their money individually in a serious and organized way. The authors make figuring out your financial standing, goals and obstacles seem easy; tackling one small chunk at a time, you will quickly be able to see the whole picture of your finances and plan accordingly. I found, as I suspected, that my husband and I already have a very open dialogue when it comes to money but any concerns that I had about where we stood and where we were going have been eased. After reading this book I feel like I’ve picked up the reigns of my financial standing instead of letting it happen to me while I sit and wonder how we’re doing. – full review -
2. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater - Finished February 12, 2010 - I’m still coming to terms with the ending of this book – I don’t really know how I felt about it and I don’t want to spoil anything so I’ll leave it at that. On the whole I really enjoyed this book – it was a nice book to read on these cold winter days. But it also made me feel kind of old when I frequently found myself rolling my eyes at the seriousness which the main characters viewed their lives and their romance. I can remember being their age and feeling this way, but I also have grown up and look back on those days as pretty silly and naive. I think that made it hard for me to stay in the moment of the story – but I never really had that problem with other books with characters of a similar age, etc. So yes, in the end, I’m just not sure. I liked the book but I also had my reservations about it from start to … finish. – full review -
3. Little Children by Tom Perrotta – Abandoned February 3, 2010 (about 100 pages in) – This book is being discussed in an upcoming book club I’ve been thinking about joining and I have heard some good reviews about it but I just could not bring myself to care about the characters of this story of suburbia, apparently unhappy marriages, and a blatant dissatisfaction with the life of stay at home parenting. I can understand that these topics are a reality for millions and it’s not that I cannot read a book that I can’t relate to personally – I can and have. And frankly there were things I could relate to but I could not seem to care about any of the characters at all. It was like watching a handful of sad people trapped in boxes they’d knowingly climbed into – and being forced to sit inside those boxes with them. The best part of this book was putting it down and being greeted by my own life, which is kind of the opposite of falling into a good book. I feel like I’m trying to make excuses for not finishing this book, like I’ve done some horrible misdeed but at the end of the day I have to remind myself that I have better things to do with my time than read a book I’m not enjoying, whatever the reasons.

And right now I’m about 2/3 of the way through The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner’s Dilemma by Trenton Lee Stewart. I love this series a lot and I’m almost dreading the moment I finish it and have to pick my next book. Which book will I choose? Definitely something from my growing stack of TBR books like…

• Easy on the Eyes by Jane Porter
• The Shop on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber
• What the Dickens by Gregory Maguire

Normally I’d post pictures of said books, but my computer is being unbearably slow today so I’m going to call it a day and hit publish. But before I go…

What’s in your nightstand right now?

Grade: B-

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater seems to be the new “it” book of the moment. Perfect for cuddling up on a cold winter’s night it tells a story we’ve all heard before now – angsty teenager with immature parents falls in love with a boy who isn’t all that he seems. But if the book sounds like a Twilight knockoff, I can assure you that it doesn’t read like one. Shiver has a plot to hold it’s own that is intricately laid out in the pages of Grace and Sam’s little love story.

Here’s a quick description of the book from people better at book descriptions than me:

For years, Grace has watched the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf—her wolf—is a chilling presence she can’t seem to live without. Meanwhile, Sam has lived two lives: In winter, the frozen woods, the protection of the pack, and the silent company of a fearless girl. In summer, a few precious months of being human … until the cold makes him shift back again.

Now, Grace meets a yellow-eyed boy whose familiarity takes her breath away. It’s her wolf. It has to be. But as winter nears, Sam must fight to stay human–or risk losing himself, and Grace, forever.

This book came strongly recommended to me by fellow book lover Vivienne so I was looking forward to diving into this love story… until my husband read it and despite enjoying most of the book, disliked the ending so much it ruined the whole book for him. I didn’t really know what to expect going into it and I kind of wish I’d been able to read it with no expectations whatsoever, but here’s my opinion as best I can explain it…

For the most part, like my husband, I enjoyed this book although I must confess that I had a hard time ignoring the age of main characters Sam and Grace. What I mean to say is that, while reading Twilight for the most part I was able to lose myself enough in the story that I could either truly remember being a teenager or I was able to ignore the fact that they were “only teenagers.” Not so with Shiver. I constantly found myself rolling my eyes at the seriousness with which Sam and Grace took their relationship. I tried giving them the benefit of the doubt, but… but… but… I was very aware of how young they were – but I do remember being a teenager. I know I was the same way in a lot of regards. Everything feels heightened and more important when you are young – everything is forever and always until it’s not.

I guess what I’m really saying is that I never really got that fully lost in the story feeling. I was always there as the voice of reality to kind of ruin it all for myself. My fault or the authors? Not sure.

And then there’s the ending… which Vivienne calls “breath taking” and my husband calls … a long string of profanity. I have to admit… it confused me. Even now sitting here I don’t really understand it. I won’t give anything away to future readers of the book, but yeah… it kind of wraps it up without really wrapping it up and left me feeling unsatisfied and uneasy. What the heck happened, Maggie? Dan compares it his old high school english assignments. His teacher always told him that he’d have a great story but then run out of steam at the end and just sort of peter out. But this seemed less like petering out and more like… confusing. I just didn’t understand.

I get the impression that it’s exactly the ending the author wanted either because she likes making her readers confused or because she’s leaving it open for a second book perhaps… and of course there’s the chance that my husband and I are having a dumb moment and missed something obvious – but when you combine my lack of being able to immerse myself in the story and the unclear ending… it did kind of leave a bad taste in my mouth that is unfortunate for such a promising book that was otherwise really good.

Good story – good plot – mostly well thought out. Nice details, lots of details and imagery (some might say too much). But… it does leave something to be desired. Still, if Stiefvater does write a second book, I’ll be in line to get my hands on it for sure.

How open are you and your spouse when it comes to household finances? Do you discuss your money past, present and future openly?

What big expenses are you trying to save up for right now? Do you feel like you are on track or just crossing your fingers and hoping for the best?

I recently had the opportunity to read and review this great book on achieving your financial goals and learning to create an open dialogue about money with your spouse or partner. For anyone who is concerned about their financial well being or hasn’t yet taken the time to open up to their partner about their financial history and goals for the future, I think this book would be a great read. After reading through the book with my husband, I was comforted to find out that I was right in believing that we already had a very open dialogue when it comes to our finances and more importantly I was able to look through all the aspects of our finances and feel more confident in where we are and where we are going.

Here’s a description of the book from GoodReads.com:

“You may think that marital bliss means money doesn’t matter, but in today’s troubled economic times, that’s simply false hope. And with layoffs galore and debt mounting, financial stress is through the roof. Think keeping afloat and affectionate is impossible? Think again.

This inspiring, action-oriented guide helps young women in committed relationships understand and manage their money matters. Complete with charts, graphs, case studies, and tip-based advice, this succinct, straightforward guide speaks to worried women in the same way that made On My Own Two Feet a mega-success.

Accessible and easy to follow, the three-part process presented in this book teaches you how to:

• Accurately interpret your current financial condition
• Become truly involved in the costs of the couple
• Move forward using the “three powers steps to financial success” This expert author team is here to help once more. Clearing up confusion, stating the truth, developing a plan—and now, helping create a happy home.”

I recommend this book to any couple looking to better understand their financial goals, history and / or setbacks and to anyone trying to find an easy way to start a financial discussion with their spouse or loved one. By tackling one small chunk at a time, you will quickly be able to see the whole picture of your finances and plan accordingly. After reading this book I feel like I’ve picked up the reigns of my financial standing instead of letting it happen to me while I sit and wonder how we’re doing.

Have you read this book? I’d love to hear your thoughts about it in the comments section below!