This week my church had a parish-led service where five people from the community stood up and talked about what they believe in – with the goal of showcasing the varied beliefs and opinions that make up a Unitarian Universalist church. It was pretty cool hearing people of varying ages and backgrounds, and a varying length of time within the Unitarian church, talk about their beliefs. It was cool agreeing with everyone about somethings, disagreeing about other things and that being totally fine. Some come from Roman Catholic backgrounds, others have been atheists for years, a lot of them come from varying Christian or Jewish religions. All continue to question their faith every day. The very idea of belief is a big deal – as were are always thinking about it, always changing. That’s like the point. I love it.

I’ve been going to this church for a month now. So I’m a total newbie when it comes to unitarianism. I don’t even think I could really call myself a unitarian at all yet – just a person who attends their services. I’ve been thinking about religion, seriously questioning myself and the world for about three years. Before that I was “raised Protestant.” I was baptized in a Protestant church, went to their Sunday school and have poured coffee, etc. at various Christmas dinners. But I didn’t go to church weekly. Or even monthly – or heck, even on holidays. It wasn’t until high school and college that I found myself occasionally attending a service with a friend or boyfriend, wondering what this “religion” thing was, what I could get out of it, and which ones I’d like. For about half a year or more I seriously considered converting to Catholicism (which my husband was raised) because I loved the church he attended and introduced me to, or at least I loved the priest.

But as I sat in the masses long enough, the glow waned, and I began to find myself annoyed with them more and more. “I believe in one true Catholic…” Um, nope I don’t. “I believe that Jesus Christ died for us…” Maybe? I’m not saying, “No you are wrong,” so much as I am saying, “No I do not believe this with every (or any) fiber of my being – and I don’t think any of the other religions out there are more or less right.” Moreover – I don’t believe that wars over religious beliefs are right. I don’t believe the prejudices towards our neighbors based on what God they pray to, what days they pray and how, or the color of their skin is right.

To me religion has always felt more like a story than a fact. It’s an idea. I don’t see it going past that point of idea. And ideas are so wholly personal – and should be, I think. I would be surprised if every member of any church, regardless which one, didn’t disagree about some small point (or bigger ones) in their faith. It’s normal, we’re human, we all see and hear things differently. It’s what makes us beautiful. I believe people should embrace their differences and learn from them, and focus less on our afterlives and more on our LIVES. I believe we should spend more time finding ways to embrace one another, help one another in any way we can and make a difference. I believe that at the base of all religions is the idea that we should lead better lives and help one another. If we all believe this on some level, why do we exclude others and narrow ourselves? This is one thing I love about Unitarian Universalists. All are welcome. They really do strive to embrace everyone, of any background, any faith – and work together as a community to make a difference. To me, that’s what “religion” should be.

I believe that I will never have it all figured out. I do not think my faith will ever be complete, nor my knowledge. I will not be finished until I die. And since I do not have a firm idea of what the afterlife has in store for me, I think it should be so very important to embrace every minute of now while I can. If and when I meet my maker, it will be too late to do things differently. I’d rather be open to all opportunities for growth and knowledge than pin myself to just one. However, I am not bothered with other people choosing that one religion. I think that all of them have their uses, all of them accomplish great things – and that a lot of people are very secure in their faiths and that’s wonderful. There is obviously something to this religious thing, having been around this long. I get that. So while I find myself at home at my local UU parish, I commend people for finding their homes in any faith based place they can. I don’t necessarily understand you, but believe me I respect and admire anyone who can lead a good life and find comfort in their faith.

And honestly, that’s about it for now. I’ll end this here, and go back to thinking about frivolous things like dessert and watching Simpson’s tonight with my husband. I appologize to any of my readers who might be put off by “another religious post.” I have no idea if this will be a regular thing or not – but now that I’m attending UU services weekly, I find myself thinking about this stuff more – and my blog really does seem like the perfect place to record my thoughts and feelings while I embark on this little “journey.” I trust that if it’s not your cup of tea, that you can simply move on to the next thing you want to read and catch up with me later.

So a few weeks ago Daniel and I decided to check out this church called the First Parish Unitarian church – it’s one of many Unitarian Universalist churches that have been around since like forever but because they had the name “church” attached them, I never realized they were something different.

I’ve blogged a bit about my feelings on religion here. I’ve talked at great length and thought about it even more. My biggest problem has always been with denominations, or rather in choosing just one forever and ever amen. And if you choose the wrong one? What then? What makes, say, Catholics so obviously better than Baptists or Jews or Buddhists, or whatever. Who’s to say any of them might or might not be right – or maybe none of them – or maybe ALL of them are? I hate to “declare” myself to this one rigid thing, when I hope to grow and develop in my faith forever. I don’t imagine I’ll ever have the answers and I don’t think people should be bogged down in trying to find them, trying to cling to this one thing.

“The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.”

-W.E.B. Du Bois

And it turns out that I’m not alone. I’m not this one only person who has thought this, who has thought, “Why can’t we all just get along?” There is even a “religion” that basically says just that.

“Unitarian Universalism is a liberal religion with Jewish-Christian roots. It has no creed. It affirms the worth of human beings, advocates freedom of belief and the search for advancing truth, and tries to provide a warm, open, supportive community for people who believe that ethical living is the supreme witness of religion.”

-from the UUA website

So what is a mass like in a church where everyone believes different things and some people believe nothing at all? What unites them? What do they talk about? How do they get along? Basically, their openness to freedom of thought, freedom to change your mind, and a desire to grow and learn is what binds them, along side a firm belief in doing what they can to help the rest of the world in any way they can. The UUA recently started a Welcoming Congregation Program to become more inclusive towards bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people. They really seem to want to open their doors to anyone who wants to lead a good life, help others and learn and grow. It’s like a church full of really smart people, from all walks of life. It’s awesome.

Our parish is lead by a Buddhist, but there are people of all religious walks of life, of varying ages, sexualities and family sizes. During the mass, they sing songs, recite quotes that resonate with whatever that week’s discussion is, have group discussions among the entire congregation, discuss literature and then meet in the parish hall for snacks and coffee (that part seems almost as important as the mass – they are really community oriented). The thing which first really drew us to them was actually their nursery and Sunday School programs. We just got a very good vibe from the people watching MM and loved that if and when he joins their Sunday School instead of the nursery that he will have an opportunity there to learn about all religions instead of just one and in the most unbiased way that I can imagine. I really want him to feel free to make his own choices when it comes to his spirituality and I think this is a great step in that direction.

Once we were satisfied that MM was in good hands (and having a blast, he didn’t want to go home when we picked him up after mass), we were able to sit down and listen and were just so impressed. Glowing with intellectual stimulation – not bored. Last week we discussed The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and it was amazing to see people agreeing to disagree and talking so freely about their varying beliefs, not to mention the fact that there were like 100 people all sitting around discussing an anti-theology book together in church and it being totally cool and enlightening.

For someone who doesn’t have all the answers, and is glad, this church is perfect. Someone being me. I intend to walk a long road, discovering anything I can, learning, growing, developing, never finished. And I really feel like I can get a lot out of that walk with the Unitarian Universalists. My husband, by the way, is equally enthused. It’s so cool to see us actually excited about this, together, to see my son looking forward to going to church every week (I know he’s only going to the nursery, but he’s two, it’s not like he’d get anything out of these masses yet, but he’s already made friends and loves it there, which makes us feel so comforted) and us looking forward to it, too. It doesn’t feel like a burden, it feels like a fun end to our weekend, a chance to stretch our brain muscles and interact with people that we wouldn’t have otherwise. It’s what I’ve always been looking for, I think, I just never realized it existed.

If you’d like to look for a Unitarian Universalist church near you, there is a great search engine at the UUA website.

It’s kind of baffling to me to believe anything firmly without proof. It makes me wonder, if given new information, where do you go from there? Do you ignore it, sticking to your faith? Do you consider it and perhaps change your mind? Do you allow yourself to grow? Do you grow by allowing for nothing? Is your faith protected by a fortress, a picket fence or an invisible fence? Is there no fence at all?

My husband and I had a long conversation yesterday about faith, religion and the universe. It began talking about Columbus discovering America, and the progression of discovery about the world and the universe. First we think the world is flat. Then it’s said the world is round, and eventually proven. Then we learn the world is round and also BIGGER than we’d imagined. Eventually we develop means to travel the entire circumference of the world, and eventually do so without dying!

The universe has been similar. Each time we learn more about the universe our understanding of life broadens. We see more of the full scope of just how big our universe is and how much we can see. Does the world stop when you can no longer see anything? Is the universe infinite or  does it have an end? My logic tells me there must be an end… but that maybe there isn’t. I’ll probably never know. At present it would be impossible to travel to the ends of the universe and see for myself so I personally take comfort in the knowledge that I don’t know. I’m okay with that. The idea that something can be bigger than I could possibly comprehend can be staggering – can make one feel very small indeed, but it doesn’t necessarily bother me.

I feel similarly about faith. I have not seen God. Nor spoken directly to him as far as I’m aware. I do not know which religion is “right” and I’m inclined to say “none of the above” but that doesn’t make any of them “wrong” to me – simply… fallible. We cannot hope to truly know and understand something we can’t see or touch, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have faith in something bigger than ourselves. I find it easier to understand faith when I accept that I don’t understand it. To believe in something bigger than myself when I accept that I have no idea what that something is  – no let me rephrase that – when I have several ideas and consider any of them as likely as the other when all is said and done.

I can tell you, “I don’t believe in organized religion,” maybe tell you I’m “agnostic” but putting a label on a faith which will likely be forever evolving seems silly. Why stifle myself? Why hold myself back from future developments? Maybe today my faith is flat. Tomorrow I might discover it is round, and I’ll grow within that new set of knowledge. A year from now I might discover my round faith to be BIGGER than I ever imagined. Years later, I might learn ways to look inside my faith that I never could before – new ways to travel within it and learn more, faster and more efficiently. I’m a work in progress and so is my faith. When will I have all the answers? I’d venture to guess that when that happens I won’t be here to tell you if I was right or you were wrong. In the meantime, may I suggest that we all just get along? Or would that be too corny or maybe just impossible? I still say we could try.

If you believe that your God wears a green suit on Tuesdays and the man down the street swears he only wears red on Tuesdays and never eats meat… Does that mean one of you should die? That one of you is so wrong about their faith that surely they will never be happy in their afterlife? Honestly? Isn’t it more important that both you and the man down the street lead good lives, try your hardest not to hurt others and remain open to new information? Maybe God never wears clothes at all, and lives in a nudist colony? Who cares?

I know it’s bigger than that, and your reasons for creating a place and a time are more vast and complicated. You have historical documents referencing things and stories passed on from generation and generation. You had a dream. That’s cool. I had a dream, too. Later I woke up and continued living. Maybe someday God will speak to me, he’ll show up all shiny and brilliant and tell me, “Jen, you are wrong. And this is the truth.” If he does, I’ll listen and I’ll take into consideration all that he tells me and compare that information to all that I know. And I’ll come to a new conclusion than my conclusions today. But honestly that shouldn’t be difficult when all I’ve arrived at today, is that, “I don’t know.”