I love the picture I posted in my Wordless Wednesday this week – the expression on MM’s face takes my breath away and I think the colors came out beautifully (then the sepia and black and white versions added their own charms), but there is one thing I don’t love about it and I haven’t mentioned it yet to anyone except my husband – I think it’s time to get this off my chest so we can all collectively yell a hearty WTF together because seriously. First things first, the picture again:

Tear your eyes away from my adorable son for a moment and look where he’s standing. That’s not just a big old pile of random rust there. If you look closely (or maybe it’s immediately obvious to you way smarter parents out there reading this) that’s fire damage. The slide behind him literallly melted from the heat of the flames and you can see the color difference between the pole in front of MM and the pole behind him. Someone, it would appear, had a bonfire on the apartment’s playground – right where my son is now standing. It took me way too long to figure this out before whisking him off the damn thing.

I mean, seriously? WTF? First there are the random preschoolers wandering around the apartment complex and playground alone and unsupervised, free to set their worst examples for my impressionable overly friendly three year old. The litter. The teenagers who loiter around the playground or toss a ball around so close to the playground that you occasionally have to duck your head to avoid being hit (something my three year old wouldn’t even think to do if it came near his head). All of this was annoying and had me apprehensive about going to the small playground, which was kind of a bummer because for me it was a major selling point for this apartment. But throwing a bonfire on the playground?? Seriously? How could they think that was an okay thing to do? Now I just plain refuse to go there with MM which really sucks because it’s the only one in walking distance. I know, blah blah lazy me – get in the car and drive. That’s fine, I will. But – – I can’t get past, WTF?

I love our apartment – the layout, the kitchen, it feels right and it’s working. The price is decent. But every ammenity which seemed like a bonus point lately feels like a big let down. The washing machine and dryer which mostly work but end up being a pain in my butt – whatever I can deal with that as much as it’s annoying, it’s better than dragging two kids to a coin op. But the playground – that was a big thing on my list. I’m glad they don’t have a pool now because I’d never feel safe using it – lord knows what size fires they could start in there.

Basically, right now I’m just waiting rather impatiently to crawl out of the financial downturn we took after the layoff and start saving enough to buy a house. It is now the only thing I’m concerned about apart from the day to day whatevers. I don’t care about vacations right now or whatever. I just want a house. I dream about having my own little (fenced in) backyard with a swing set or a kiddie pool – to be able to talk about getting a puppy or planting a garden or buying outdoor furniture. To be able to just walk outside and have a cookout, rather than figuring out somewhere to use the tabletop grill. I want to paint walls and drill holes without thinking about how long it will take to fill them in when we leave. I want to own my domain and be the one in charge of it. I’m tired of WTF.

9 Replies to “A Closer Look”

  1. Sorry to hear about the playground. Keep hold of your dreams about a house – you will get there in the end. Can I suggest a little cosmic ordering ( this may sound weird but it actually does work!) Find a picture of the house of yours dreams – put it up on a notice board so you see it everyday and imagine yourself living in it. Positive reinforcement brings you the things you need. I know I may sound completely loopy but it does work!

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  2. It is a cute picture though!

    I would be bummed about that playground, too! And if I saw kids having a fire there, I would totally call the police on them because I am THAT lady.

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  3. @ Jean : That’s perfectly fine – you are entitled to your Debbie Downer moments, especially now – and it’s that knowing that you don’t OWN it that I think makes all the difference – the lack of permanence. It irks me.

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  4. I’m wondering if it was some kind of firecracker induced fire? I know you mentioned that it is done so “freely” there. Who knows..but that is ridiculous!

    I also feel your pain on the housing situation, though we have been blessed to have a very nice rental it’s still not ours…so it’s just not the same. Everytime I walk down the spacious sidewalks, and enjoy the quiet neighborhood, and my kids enjoy the amenities of playgrounds and swimming pools in sweet suburbia, I have to sigh and think all good things may come to an end and we’ll be back in the ghetto possibly in a few months time. I hope it won’t be that way, but I’m accustomed to the glass half empty philosophy. Apologies for being Debbie Downer on your blog.

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  5. Thanks for the tip! I will definitely look into that!

    For all I know those things have been done – my husband called the office to make sure they knew about it but I don’t go often enough to know when it happened and if they know who did it, etc.

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  6. A bonfire on the playground?? Why has the apartment complex not sued somebody for damages?? And evicted the same somebodies?

    Nice, pic, though.

    Speaking of buying a house…You should look into downpayment assistance programs. We are buying our house through an organization called NeighborWorks, which is providing our downpayment. It would have been almost impossible for us, on the one income, to do it any other way.

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