I came across this personality quiz today which asks you to select from a large variety of words – grouped in fours – you select the one that sounds the most like you, for example:

At the end of the quiz it tells you whether your personality is more melancholy, phlegmatic, choleric or sanguine. My result was a near tie between melancholy and phlegmatic but looking over the descriptions of each in detail, I think it’s clear that melancholy wins. The thing which first really struck me about this quiz was the choices I made – the words I used to honestly describe me…

analytical, planner, scheduled, mediator – these did not necessarily surprise me. I like to schedule and plan and make lists of my life into oblivion which is funny for a person who can also be so messy and unorganized in general. But I guess I plan what I can to make up for what I cannot in some effort to find a great medium? And then there was…

critical, restless, suspicious, mumbles, skeptical, worrier – I chose these words to describe myself. And they are true, but really – I chose these words over words like crafty or or even messy. I deliberately stated that I am not friendly or confident or even proud. I suppose I can give myself credit for being true to myself – I am a restless person, unable to live in the moment enough no matter how many times I think I should try to do better. I worry about everything and then I worry that I worry too much.

I am suspicious and skeptical about the relationships and people around me and then I feel lonely and wonder if anyone really likes me at all. I mumble by nature and then feel upset when people don’t hear me and understand me. I am very critical of myself and I think sometimes I am too critical of my kids, too, expecting things that are unrealistic even when deep down I think they are terrific and want them to just embrace being kids – without being loud or messy and childish of course. So is it sadder that I know and acknowledge these things about myself or that I am these things and haven’t really made an effort to be any different?

According to the quiz a melancholy person is not all that bad. We are deep and thoughtful, serious and purposeful, prone to being genius, talented and creative, philosophical and poetic, sensitive to others, appreciative of beauty, conscientious and idealistic.

As a parent it says I am inclined to set high standards and want things done right but I keep my home in good order, clean up after my children and make sacrifices for others. I encourage talent and scholarship.

I am schedule oriented and detail conscious at work, persistent and thorough, economical and finish what I start (ha, sometimes). In relationships I make friends cautiously but am very faithful. I listen to complaints and can solve other’s problems. I have a deep concern for other people and can be moved to tears by compassion.

But I can also be moody and depressed, focus on the negative, have a false sense of humility, low self-image, selective hearing, be self-centered, too introspective, prone to guilt, hypochondria and have a persecution complex.

As a parent I might put goals beyond reach, discourage my children, be too meticulous, act as a martyr, sulk over disagreements and put guilt upon my kids. In relationships I might tend to live through others, be socially insecure and withdrawn, critical of others, suspicious, antagonistic, full of contradictions and skeptical of compliments. I am hard to please and have a deep need for approval.

Basically – I’m a real handful. Are these things set in stone or can I change and become more sanguine or choleric, if those are good things? Is the goal to be only a little of each? Or are these just self truths and everyone is this messed up?