I was reading this article at Nutrition Stripped about how she creates her morning routine because don’t all mothers wish the mornings ran more smoothly? I definitely see room for improvement in mine. Her routine obviously sounds amazing but reading her article I noticed two things:

1. Her morning routine starts at 5:00 a.m. Like intentionally. Anybody who knows me knows that this is laughable. My husband has tried to get me to wake up earlier but my body doesn’t acknowledge common sense that early. If I have to get up at 6am to get the kids to school by 7, most of that hour is technically still spent in bed. I’ve learned to shout commands with my eyes closed, literally.
2. Throughout her morning of meditation, Matcha tea lattes, walks in the park and infrared sauna routines, I didn’t notice any children asking for cheerios or carefully planting LEGOS under her feet as she walked.

Now I’m not saying that having kids precludes having a relaxing morning routine. I know plenty of mommas that achieve this and most of them are those annoyingly clever early rising mommas. They are my heroes. But I am saying that our situations are a little different.

I still think my morning routine could use some improvement though. Here’s what it looks like during the summer:

7:00am : My bed does the wave as my husband gets out of bed. Or maybe he’s been up for an hour and he’s lifting it up and down now to spite me. Who can say? He murmurs something about clever people waking up early and I throw the blankets over my head and try to pretend I don’t hear him.

7:15am : Subconsciously I am awake now but my body cannot move yet. So I start mentally throwing together a to do list for the day or think about all the things I sucked at doing yesterday.

7:30am : My alarm goes off because good intentions. This makes me immediately exhausted so I hit snooze. Didn’t I, like, just fall asleep?

7:40am : I swear I just fell back to sleep but my alarm is going off again. How rude! I’ll press it just one more time, I swear

7:50am – 8:20am : Somewhere in this time frame I give up the ghost because the kids are shouting under the door about things like Minecraft and oatmeal and how hard they can hit each other.

8:30am : Acknowledge bladder. Stare at my empty closet and think about the laundry I need to fold. Find a shirt I don’t hate and put that on so that I can call myself dressed.

8:40am : COFFEE. I should eat breakfast, too, but I can’t think about that because I haven’t had coffee yet. I ask the kids if they have eaten and usually the answer is yes. I ask if they put their dishes in the sink or dishwasher and usually the answer is no. I goad them into chores and have them feed the dog if this hasn’t happened yet. My kids are independent rock stars, this was not an accident.

8:50am : Find somewhere to sit and drink my coffee. Preference is usually for in my office so I can check my email or in the living room where I might catch up on an episode of tv. Either way, I will do this for at least half an hour  or until obligations present themselves. Every two minutes a child will ask to play Minecraft or use their kindles and I throw out alternate suggestions like reading or drawing pictures or doing jumping jacks until about the 8th request when I’m grumpy and give in.

9:30am : My coffee is gone! We should do something productive like humans! Let’s get ready for swim lessons or go to the park or visit the library!!!! What do you mean you aren’t dressed yet? What have you been doing all morning? How did you lose one shoe? No you cannot wear that! You can’t be hungry, didn’t you just eat? Hurry up!

9:50am : Halfway to wherever we are going I realize I didn’t eat breakfast and my socks don’t match.

So clearly there is room for improvement.

What does your morning routine look like?

ps: During the school year you can erase everything after 8:40am and move the time frame up an hour and a half.