I’m now 36 weeks pregnant – I noticed that the little picture timeline on my babygaga.com countdown ticker has now moved over to the final picture on the timeline. Not surprising – because, dudes, it’s almost time. I had an appointment with my OB this past Tuesday and I will now have one appointment a week (already scheduled!) until my scheduled cesarean on July 21st (also already scheduled). Another thing of note from the countdown ticker? Apparently my uterus is now 1000 times it’s original size – that’s rather terrifying.

So at my last appointment my OB gave me the little report from my last ultrasound – there are no pretty pictures or anything worth scanning, but there were two things I noticed while attempting to decipher the doctor jargon in the report. The “history / indications” lists the reason for my ultrasound as being “poor weight gain” which just really had me miffed, even though I know that was a generic statement. Sure if I were a “normal” “healthy” “android” I’d technically be expected to gain some weight in this pregnancy, but last time I tried that I gained like 80 pounds – that to me is “poor weight gain.” They should have an option for “maintained her weight like a rock star” instead of typing things in that make me feel like I’ve done something wrong. I still remember the ultrasound technician about fainting when I told her I hadn’t gained any weight in the pregnancy and I’m like, “Dude you can look at my stomach and TELL that something’s been getting bigger – don’t look at me like I’m an alien – congratulate me!” Whatever.

As if that wasn’t insulting enough, apparently they also consider Baby Blueberry (BB) “not remarkable.” Like they say so several times. Her fetal anatomy is not remarkable. Her fetal spine appears unremarkable. And okay, so those are the only two examples I can find, but honestly, “unremarkable”? My little girl is totally worthy of remark. I bet her fetal anatomy is just stunning, thankyouverymuch. And her spine is probably rocking! I can tell you her kicking strength is nothing resembling unremarkable, but I guess you’ll have to take my word for that.

Yes, I’m telling you all this because apart from that visit this week has been pretty much exactly like the last week, but you know what, it’s all coming soon and I’m trying to just enjoy the normalcy now, even if normal means waddling around like a weeble, sweating like there’s no tomorrow and cowering in pain when my future soccer star starts attacking me for all her worth to the extent that I start wondering if she’s really trying to get my attention and might be screaming something like, “HEY YOU! LET ME OUT OF HERE!” And I’m like, “I wish sweetie.” Although I still have not heard back from Graco so really if I could wait just long enough to somehow aquire an infant car seat to take her home, that’d be swell.

Anyway, I’m sure you’re all like, “Great – but what strange vegetable does babycenter.com think BB resembles now??” so I’ll get on with the statistics…

[BB] is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon – I’m sure you’ve all eaten tons of those and know exactly how big they are) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She’s shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. [BB] swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement (I know you all really wanted to know that!).

At the end of this week, [BB] will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she’s in a head-down position (Actually she’s in the transverse position with her head on the right, but since I’m having a c-section that’s kind of irrelevant). [Otherwise my doctor might] suggest scheduling an “external cephalic version,” which is a fancy way of saying she’ll try to coax [BB] into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of [my] belly.

How [my] life’s changing:

Now that [my] baby is taking up so much room, [I] may have trouble eating a normal-size meal. Smaller, more frequent meals are often easier to handle at this point. On the other hand, [I] may have less heartburn and have an easier time breathing when [BB] starts to “drop” down into [my] pelvis. This process — called lightening — often happens a few weeks before labor if this is your first baby. ([Since I’ve] given birth before, it probably won’t happen before labor starts.) If [BB] drops, [I] may also feel increased pressure in [my] lower abdomen, which may make walking increasingly uncomfortable, and [I’ll] probably find that [I] have to pee even more frequently (seriously? Even more?). If [my] baby is very low, [I] may feel lots of vaginal pressure and discomfort as well. Some women say it feels as though they’re carrying a bowling ball between their legs! (Good times.)

Alright before I go, a few other fun things I found on babycenter.com this week:

• Their Birthday Time Machine tells me the following cool things about July 21st (the day of our scheduled cesarean, BB’s intended birthday): Ernest Hemingway, Cat Stevens and Robin Williams will share BB’s birthday. Her birthstone will be the Ruby and her zodiac sign will be Cancer. On July 21st 1970, Egypy completed the Aswan Dam on the Nile River and in 1931 on the same date, CBS began broadcasting the first regular, seven-days-a-week tv schedule in the US.
• To compare, MM’s birthday is April 7th. He shares a birthday with Billie Holiday, Jackie Chan and Russell Crowe. His birthstone is the Diamond and his zodiac sign is Aries. In 1927, the first simultaneous telecast of image and sound took place when a speech by President Herbert Hoover in Washington, D.C., is transmitted to New York City  on April 7th. That date in 1948 is when the World Health Organization was founded. On April 7, 2001 NASA’s Mars Odyssey spacecraft takes off on a six-month, 286-million-mile journey to the red planet.
• What does babycenter.com say about children born under the sign of Cancer? Cancer’s are considered “sensitive souls.” They are most comfortable at home, surrounded by family and pets, and familiar sights, sounds and smells. She might be very dependent on a favorite soft blanket or stuffed animal. Tradition, rituals, and routine are important for Cancer children, so regular family meals and a set bath-and-bedtime routine could be vital for this little one. They are more cautious and sensitive by nature and can easily become overwhelmed in a noisy, chaotic situation. Cancer’s are very nurturing by nature and she just may be naturally blessed with a green thumb and prone to bringing home every stray dog she finds. Cancer children are more emotionally vulnerable than most, and when they feel threatened, they’ll pull into their little shell until life seems safe again.
• Basically that makes, MM, the Aries a total opposite to his little sister. A natural born leader, Aries children are always pushing ahead of the pack. With an “Are we there yet?” outlook, they are impatient to arrive and get started already! Aries children possess a passionate, creative, and restless nature. They seem to have more energy than other children, with a vitality that’s matched only by their natural bravery. Their “me first” attitude can be a challenge for anyone who has to contend with their high spirits and frequent self-absorption. Legendary for their straightforward honesty, Aries children tell it like they see it. They can overstep boundaries because they’re naturally impulsive and tend not to look before they leap.  Aries children have a hard time keeping their emotions under control and are prone to temper tantrums, but there’s a positive side to this: They don’t hold a grudge. Once the fireworks are over, so is their anger. Any vigorous activity will be an excellent outlet for his energy, and if it’s a competitive sport, so much the better. But be sure he wears a helmet or any other essential safety gear. In their eternal hurry, Aries children tend to be accident-prone.

This honestly sounds exactly like MM so if the same is true for BB… life should be interesting.