You know that thrill of waking up on Christmas morning, to a pile of presents. You see the boxes and bags with your name on it and have that moment of anticipation, of “I wonder what’s inside?”
I didn’t get that this year. There were presents for my kids’ from family members that I didn’t know the contents of until opened; And my husband got a couple stocking stuffer-sized surprises (from me). But unless you count a few gift cards we received from family members and a very surprising Christmas bonus from Dan’s company, every present I opened… I wrapped. I bought. I picked out meticulously.
Dan and I have been in the habit of buying our Christmas presents for each other together. It’s always seemed easier. And until this year that hasn’t bothered me, because other people (namely our parents) were giving us presents, too. So I got to get “the present I wanted” and the “surprise presents” as well. It all made sense, until we moved. And neither of us thought much about it until the day after Christmas.
Now, I’m not saying that I’m disappointed that nobody sent me presents. We live 1,000 miles away and gift cards are more practical – and the kids are more important anyway. I put the gift cards we did get to good use – the kids got some adorable new outfits and I used a bit of our Christmas bonus to buy some of the books I’ve been coveting for awhile and Dan got a Mario game for the Wii and Wii Fit Plus was purchased for both of us. The rest of the bonus went towards our house savings fund, which will be the ultimate gift in a few years. “Santa” you could say, was good to us. But I missed that “surprising” feeling of “What will I get.”
All this means is that Dan and I decided to no longer aid each other in buying our Christmas presents. I want the surprise – so I’m going to let him surprise me. If there’s a present that I really want that doesn’t come Christmas morning, we can talk about it after the holiday and see what we want to do about it – maybe we’ll be blessed with more gift cards or another good bonus. And of course all of this seems to beg the question, “What is Christmas about? What is important and what isn’t?”
Is the stuff really this important? And for me the answer is no – but the surprises are. It’s not the item that matters, which is why picking it out myself doesn’t matter – to be honest, we maybe did this to avoid buying something the other wouldn’t really want. But… let’s have a little faith in each other and not worry about the material, but rather focus on the experience of opening a gift that the person we love picked out just for us. Celebrating the love that went into the buying of the gift – and not just the gift itself.
Does anyone else find themselves wrapping their own Christmas presents? Is the surprise important to you or would you rather just know you are getting what you want?
Mommablogsalot 
6 responses to “loving the gift… or giving the gift of love”
We were both surprised, but the gifts are definitely more emphasized on the kiddos. It’s a little hard, but really I don’t NEED anything, right?
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We buy for each other without a clue what is being purchased. We make lists and then the other person buys from that list… or doesn’t. It depends. Sometimes we do expect some of the things we’re getting – Alex lost one of Jon’s gloves about 2 weeks ago so it was pretty a much a given that I’d pick up a new pair for him. But for both of us it’s about the surprise. I could put a box in front of Jon that says “surprise – don’t open” and he won’t. He loves unwrapping the gifts Christmas morning just as much as the kids do, and loves surprising me too, like with the Roomba.
So I’m happy you won’t be buying your own present anymore! I can see how not getting a surprise would be disappointing. Our piles are a lot smaller than the kids’ (especially since we moved) but it’s still fun seeing what’s behind the paper.
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It’s definitely the surprise! Hubby and I don’t do gifts to each other on Christmas and haven’t for years. We got tired of the what does he/she want/need routine and having to make lists and the whole “you’re supposed to get me a gift, it’s Christmas” thing. Sometimes we do birthday presents, sometimes we don’t. Surprise!
Here’s what we do instead… We surprise each other with gifts, small or large, whenever we want. Mostly it’s when one of us sees something we know the other would love or when we just feel like expressing our appreciation for putting up with each other, or just being there, or whatever. Not only has it taken the pressure off around the holidays, but there is never a disappointment and a gift means something…it’s a gift and it has real meaning. It means I thought of you and I love you in a way no Christmas gift ever has.
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Why don’t you give each other a list of things you would like and then it will be a surprise which ones he picks.
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I’ll have to get back to you on this one as it’s kind of a sore spot for me. Let’s just say that my husband isn’t the best @ giving or even receiving presents.
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ooh good question as we kind of have had the same situation where the hubs and I pretty much jointly do our presents and my MIL and I shop for presents (clothes and necessary things) together and I end up wrapping my presents minus the surprise. I like to be surprised..shocking coming from the girl who always needs to know. I have a crazy messed up mind is really the only way I can explain it. 😉
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