Someone find this boy a literary agent: Alternately, how to give your mother a panic attack.

MM, Future English Major?

My son likes to tell me stories sometimes but he doesn’t reveal whether the story is real or made up unless I ask. As you can imagine, this has caused me a bit of difficulty.

my goof ball

Earlier today: “Mom, I know it seemed like the bus was on time today but the bus driver drifted off to sleep earlier while driving the bus and his hands slipped off the wheel and the key fell out and we were parked at Cherry Berry – you know that frozen yogurt place you take us to sometimes? And then the bus driver woke up and bought us ALL frozen yogurt!!Wait! What??

Several months ago: “Mom! In class we have a class pet that’s a cat and it likes to hide so we have to search all over the class for it. We also have a class pet that’s a dog and the cat and the dog run all over the class and then hide and nobody can catch them!” Somewhere in the middle there I started asking when they’d gotten a class pet, never mind two, and why I had never noticed and why they weren’t in some kind of crate and why on earth would they have a class cat and dog and then finally the truth came out. My son is a future English major.

So when he tells me things like, “In class we did a play about Three Billy Goats Gruff and I got to be the FROG. He’s like the biggest part in the show, mom!” I just assumed it was another tall tale – but no, that one was true. Just keeping me on my toes, I guess.