The Post That Isn’t The Post

Still nothing. I’ll just get that out there right away since I’m sure many of my regular readers were hoping this would be The Post. I know I was hoping this would be The Post. I have been kind of avoidy lately – not wanting to answer the phone just to say, “No, nothing yet.” Not wanting to write another post about how we still haven’t heard anything. I keep hoping, if I just wait another hour or two, I’ll have something way better to write about than what I have to say now. Which is pretty much – we’re getting really impatient and grumpy and to top matters off, I have a soar throat, which is making me doubly grumpy. I’m hardly hungry at all, which is weird for a hungry pregnant woman. So far today I’ve had a small cup of yogurt, some ramen noodles, two cups of tea and a cup of coffee. And water. Formerly delicious, now mostly just a welcome relief to my thirst, water. I’m tired of being grumpy. I’m tired of my throat hurting. I’m tired of this gigantic belly that I can hardly complain about because “I haven’t gained any weight at all,” but I still feel like I’m trapped in someone else’s way less healthy, hugely pregnant body. I have no energy, I’m losing my good humor and I kind of just want to go back to bed. Except I don’t want to miss the moment when he finds out, because good lord it’s gotta happen soon. They wouldn’t actually make us wait a full two weeks would they??

I really want it to be Saturday, because by Saturday we’ll have found out one way or another, hopefully several days before then – and more importantly we have lots of plans this weekend with family that I’m looking forward to. Like breakfast at a restaurant my MIL has been recommending to me for like two years or something, my brother in law’s Eagle Scout ceremony, and Mother’s Day weekend. I can already tell you pretty plainly that I expect to get nothing for Mother’s Day (except that aforementioned breakfast out to eat) and I don’t really care. Our savings is dwindling away and knowing whether we’ll be employed again is present enough for me right now. I’d be a little furious if he bought a card and I doubt he’ll hand make one, although you never know. And MM? He’s only three so he certainly won’t be coming up with something on his own. Still, it’s a holiday and I am looking forward to it. Or at least the BBQ we’re going to that day at the in laws – and church that day looks like it will be a good one, according to the newsletter.

I am bummed about leaving this church if and when we move. I really like – I like the people, I love the stimulating information we seem to get each week, the discussion fodder it provides my husband and I – plus there is not much cuter than hearing your preschooler say, “I wanna go to church,” even when I know he’s only talking about all the toys in their nursery. It’s still nice to hear. I hope that the UU churches in the area are nice. I’ve looked at their websites but it’s kind of hard to get a feel for them that way. Will they be as nice as this one? Better? Or nothing like it. It saddens me that we’ve finally found a church we love and now we’re moving. And now when we go to church I kind of just feel like I’m going through the motions because it doesn’t really belong to me anymore. I know that’s not really true, but it’s how I feel. It’s how I feel about a lot of things. This isn’t really my apartment, it’s just the place I’m sleeping in, where all my stuff is, where I wait for an email from Dream Company. This isn’t really my library – it’s just building with books that I’m not sure I want to check out because I don’t know if I’ll have time to finish reading them before we move, if we move.

God help me if we don’t move – as much as it would make some things – like the birth of our second child – a little bit easier and our family would be kind of thrilled in spite of themselves. But we’ve already mentally said goodbye to this place. We’ve made tentative plans, googled preschools and grocery stores and UU churches. We’ve planned a google map complete with preferred hotels because we’re leaning towards driving to Dream State instead of flying so I don’t have to deal with another airport so soon – and so we can pretend we’re on vacation since we surely won’t be able to afford a real one. We’ve looked into the prices of moving companies and boxes, the apartment we want to live in, whose website is permanently open in a tab in my Firefox browser. We’ve looked into the area hospitals, the health insurance options, the OBGYNs in the area and which clinics I’d rather go to for prenatal appointments. I know where the closest pizza restaurants are. I’m ready. And tired of waiting.

Alright, hubby is mandating a family walk (in the cold, wet weather) to try and get some fresh air and improve all our moods. Because we’re all feeling about as pent up and annoyed as me – and I wouldn’t doubt if he’s feeling worse (minus the sore throat) what with this being his career on the line and all. Maybe we’ll come back to an answer?

Here, Sort Of

Yeah I know, I’ve become a disappearing act. To be fair, I’ve barely been home and when I have been home I was dealing with the Case Of The Disappearing Internet. Or rather, hubby has been tinkering and it took out my internet for awhile and then he had to scratch is head and fume at my iMac for awhile because they don’t speak the same language apparently. Something about Arabic. Anyway, I’m sort of back now, but I know my posting is going to be pathetic and my blog reading is even worse probably. I’m here, sort of. I’m trying to plan so many aspects of this move at the same time that it makes my head spin and we haven’t even gotten an official job offer. I’m feeling impatient but really it’s only Tuesday and I won’t be surprised if we don’t hear from them before Friday afternoon. Whatever. Then I need to find an apartment, a moving company and health insurance in like the blink of an eye and you know, pack and move and get my address changd for like a gazillion things and actually move. Gah. Whose brilliant idea was this again?

On Dream Companies and Cities and Reality

Just wanted to check in quickly. The boy just went down for his nap and I have 2 hours before people might start coming over (it’s quasi-game night, don’tchya know) but I didn’t want to leave you all waiting with collectively held breath any longer – haha – that’s right, you can exhale, sort of. So the interview went very well and Dan’s more smitten with Dream Company than ever, but we don’t have a definite answer yet. They are hiring a slew of people – and while he has no reason to believe he won’t get the job, we don’t have it in writing yet or anything. If Assuming they hire him, he’d likely start the first Monday in June.

They will pay for our relocation, via reimbursement. So there’s the fine line of we’ll be getting the money back, but we have to actually have the money to pay with initially – and don’t know how long it will take them to pay us back… They will not be helping us pay out the remainder of our lease, which is too bad, but okay. The apartment we are leaning towards offers the first month’s rent for free which will help a bit with the initial costs. I think we’d likely move out a week or so before he’d start working? I’m not sure how long it would take a moving company to get our stuff to Dream City from here, we’ll have to call and see. We’re thinking about flying the three of us to Dream City and staying in a hotel until the moving truck arrives – which Dream Company will pay for. I’m very nervous about getting the health insurance / doctor hooplah switched over. By June I will be seven months pregnant. So so close. Plenty of time in theory, but how long will this all take, you know? Ugh. So there’s that.

I’m ready to start planning but I can only plan in theory until we get that job offer. Still, I think we’ll get the job offer. I just hope they hurry up! They said 1-2 weeks like they have with every other step of this process so I’m hoping that means it will be soon but it could be 2 weeks. I really hope he gets this because he loves the company… and if he doesn’t, we’re kind of stuck back at level one – with no real prospects. Stupid economy.

I liked Dream City, by the way, from what I saw. I think the whole thing got very real once we got there – it wasn’t a magical fairy tale land like it was allowed to be in my imagination but I did really like the apartments and most of the city (does anyone really like the urban down town parts of cities? It’s not like I’d be getting an apartment in those areas anyway) and the people we met, apartment leasing people, hotel staff, etc. were all friendly enough in a I’m paid to be nice to you kind of way. I know I don’t sound as excited as I should. It’s real now. And I’m bone tired – we got home at midnight last night and it’s been go go go since then. A nice weekend, but busy with a lot to do in the coming weeks. Alright, I’d better start cleaning for my company. 🙂 Hope you are all having a great weekend!

About American Idol and My Real Life

So last night we watched Idol’s disco night. All the performances were fine I guess but the only two which stood out for me were Kris Allen and of course Adam Lambert. I’m not-so-silently pegging them as my top 2 at this point. I love both the ladies, but I don’t think either of them stand a chance at this point. We’ve got Lil Rounds who just doesn’t seem to get it, and that’s fine, she still has a beautiful voice and I’m glad to have heard her – and then that tiny little bombshell, Allison whose voice just kills me, but she seems to have plateaued for me. And then I think, “She’s 16, give her time.” So despite thinking they are both very talented ladies, I’m at peace now with my decision to leave their fan camps. Matt Giraurd seems to be an every other week thing for me. I love him or ‘meh’ him. Last night veered on the side of ‘meh.’ Anoop, man, he’s found his place with ballads which consistently pleases the judges but sometimes I have to wonder if he’s even happy being pinned in this little box. Whatever keeps him in the competition? Maybe I’m over analyzing. Last night was just okay for me. Oh and Danny, well we just won’t go there. If you don’t know my opinion on him by now, you can just search all my other American Idol related posts and you’ll soon catch on, but I’m tired of bitching on it.

So we’re leaving early early early Thursday morning, dropping the kiddo off at my MIL (from there he will be getting carted around to several other relatives for what should be the weird mid-week weekend sleepover extravaganza of his life) and heading to the airport for our flight which departs at 8:50am but between the 90 minutes of preparedness time they want you to have and the hourish commute to get to the airport, it still means a god awful morning. We should arrive in Dream City by 1:30pm. Apartment hunting, town drooling and then a dinner at the hotel restaurant which Dream Company is footing the bill for. Sweet. I’m hoping and praying the hotel has cable and that I’ll be able to watch Bones and Grey’s Anatomy, because I realized last night that tv owns half my life. Sad but true. I’m already accepting that I’ll be missing America’s Next Top Model this week. It conflicts with tv times tonight and Friday when it reruns we will literally be in the air on our way home. Drats.

Friday is the actual interview with Dream Company. Dan prepared a 20 minute presentation on a previous work project of his that he has to present to the big guys. Apparently there will be other candidates there also – I don’t know if they are hiring multiple people or if he simply has competition but the concept makes me nervous. Somehow, despite trying very hard to remain on the “if this happens” camp, I think I’d largely assumed it would. What if there is someone else coming there who is better? And they get the job? And we come home to our unemployment and disappointment and continue this search? ::sigh:: I know we’ll survive it either way, either way is a big thing to deal with, but ugh, I just want this to be over either way you know? I want to know where my life is headed by Saturday PLEASE.

So yeah, that’s about all the new and big. Not sure when I’ll be posting again as it’s about to get crazy busier (like busier than already) but I’ve got some posts up today and my weekend diversion’s is scheduled to post on Friday, so my blog won’t be completely silent without me. Hope you all have a great week!

Taking The Good With The Bad

Babycenter.com has a great article up called 25 Good Things About Bad Times – the silver linings to be found in this bad economy are there if you look for them. We’ve certainly had to lately. While I’ve had plenty of stress to deal with lately, money worries and a world just waiting to change on me at every turn, the good things have been plenty and should not be forgotten. Some things I am thankful for in this bad economy:

  • Quality Time – While it would be nice to have Dan working, earning money and life returning to normal, it has also been very nice having him home, spending more time with him and both of us spending more, quality time with MM. We’ve gone to the park and playground more, taken more pictures, played more as a family (blowing bubbles, tickle fests), played more board games and video games together and talked more about more things than we would be able to otherwise.
  • Having An Extra Helping Hand – Being all six months pregnant or something absurd like that, it’s been nice having Dan home to help out. He’s been able to help with dinners, cleaning and even just chasing the boy around. I’ve been able to sleep in by almost an hour every morning, which I can hardly feel guilty about when we have nowhere to be and um, I’m six months pregnant.
  • Getting In Shape – Lately we’ve been finding extra ways to fill our day, new things to do to kill an hour or two. Our favorite thing to do is probably take long walks. We walk for at least a mile and a half almost every day, sometimes more. Dan’s also been jogging (something I have no interest in joining him with right now). He’s lost over 50 pounds since October and well you all know I’ve been able to maintain my pre-pregnancy weight. But we’ve been able to kick our lifestyle into high gear by really focusing on the exercise part of our “diets” where we weren’t before.
  • Eating Better – You’d think that by cutting back on our grocery bill everywhere we can, that our diets would be suffering, but that’s really not true. We’ve been making more meals from scratch and enjoying every minute of it. Can’t afford to buy cereal? Let’s make pancakes – oh darn, right? When we ran out of bisquick, we started making them honest to goodness from scratch and found we loved it! We learned how to make homemade meatballs and may never go back to those frozen meatballs again. We’ve also loved seeing how much we can cut down our grocery bill without it killing us. And seeing what indulgences are really important to us at the end of the day, and which ones aren’t. Our grocery bill will never be the same again.

I’m sure there are more things – I know there are – but honestly, rather than sitting here talking about it – I’m going to get up and go live it and get back to that quality life I’ve been enjoying. While it lasts.

In what ways has this bad economy made a positive impact on your life?

I’m Dreaming Of Paid Employment

We got an email from Dream Company today basically just saying, “We received your written exam (which he took last Monday) and it is now being graded.” After it’s graded, his entire application process will be reviewed by the company and then a decision will be made as to whether to contact him for an in person interview. That process of grading and reviewing will take 1-2 weeks with a chance of a delay. They’ve been fairly prompt so far, all things considered so I’m crossing my fingers that maybe by next Monday we’ll know if he’s getting an in person interview. It’s a good thing this is all for a company that we’re half in love with, otherwise I’d have lost interest in the whole process by now. But it’s still something we really want so I’m hoping.

Other than this, he’s only had contact from two companies and two or three staffing agencies. One of the companies turned him down for lack of experience with Java, the other company has just started their hiring process and may get back to us at a later date. All the staffing agencies seem to like him but haven’t actually offered him any leads yet. So really Dream Company is our most promising prospect right now. He applied to four more jobs this morning that are all relatively in the area which could be nice. Especially if it meant not moving out of state because THEN I’d get to keep my health insurance.

But for some reason, despite set backs like that, the prospect of moving to a new place still thrills me. Like setting out on a grand adventure, starting over, discovering a new place. I love to travel and I’ve moved a lot growing up, so this desire to move probably stems from that, but really, it wouldn’t be terrible. I’d like the idea of setting down roots somewhere new, even if not permanently. Finding this new place to call home and really coming together and strengthening as a family unit. Smaller holidays would be both good and bad – I’d miss our friends and family but I’d also welcome the challenge of creating a good life for ourselves. And a lower cost of living just makes all of this all the more appealing. Plus, the economy is really in a bad place so any good job would be welcomed at this point, distance or no.

We figure that worst case scenario we’ll have a maybe or no answer from Dream Company by May 4. If he flew out for an interview the following week and was accepted, we could be into the new state by June easily. If they turn him down, at least we’ll know and we can stop waiting not terribly patiently to hear back. We could still end up anywhere at this point, but I’d love it if wherever it is could be figured out soon. Next week is my prenatal appointment so the good news is that I should have no problem keeping the appointment and will then have another month I think until the next appointment, wherever that is.