Bump Report: Week Nineteen: Now With Extra Bumpy Gender-Like Details

Babycenter.com and my ultrasound technician agree,
BB Kumquat is now 6 inches long, roughly the size of an heirloom tomato.

BB’s sensory development is exploding! Their brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch and he or she may be able to hear my voice now, which makes me wonder what they think about their future mother whose most common dialog consists of “Put that down!” “Take that out of your mouth!” and “Don’t jump on that!” And of course the constant, sometimes effective “NO!” I’ll have to remember to balance that out by saying nice soothing sweet things occasionally.

And now I’ll stop boring you with details of BB’s kidneys and how their arms are now in proportion to their body and tell you about my ultrasound this past Monday. You’re welcome. So on Monday I scarfed down half my lunch before shoving the boy and I into our respective coats, drove to dh’s office and left MM with him, then drove to my ultrasound appointment, where I arrived about 25 minutes early, and thought, “Geeze, I probably could have finished my lunch after all.”

The ultrasound technician was a total sweetie. I confided in her that I am nuts and was half convinced I’d get there and the baby would mysteriously be gone. I think I might have actually said, “Oh look, I’m still pregnant.” BB was all sorts of curled up on their back with their legs folded right on top of them which didn’t look at all comfortable to me, but the technician seemed to think it was fine, if a bit funny looking. Next she checked the heart beat, probably knowing that I needed to hear it like stat. Good and strong at like 152 or something. She went on to check the baby’s length (6 inches) and showed me a picture of the foot and all sorts of other cute / boring things, then asked if I wanted to know the gender.

To which, I proceeded to tell her about my Poor Cousin Krista who had been told she was having a girl and bought and received a mountain of pretty pink girly things, only to have a boy on her day of delivery, with no warning whatsoever. Point is, chick needed to know that I was a skeptic. I asked her what the odds were if she saw a girl that it was actually a girl – 95%, 85%, 35%? It’s important, you know. So she checked three times for me and I’m telling you, BB has a vagina. Chick’s legs were wide open. She had “three white lines” which my ultrasound technician said was a pretty sure fire sign that BB Kumquat Etc. is a little girl. A little Baby Blueberry The Awesomest Girl. I’m trying to refrain from being totally 100% convinced, because you know, thou shalt not forget Poor Cousin Krista and all, but seriously – legs wide open people. So I ordered the pig blanket, as a sign of good faith – and it was free.

Oh and after I found out that BB is a girl and you all probably stopped reading by now, but anyway, afterwards I had to run back to dh’s office where I was planning to have Dan drive MM and I to my other appointment which for some screwy reason was in a different town than my first one, but apparently a disaster had happened of the Work Persuasion and I had to take MM to that appointment by my lonesome, which meant driving in the city and parking in a terrible parking lot, and lugging around a 2 year old who really should have been napping, but instead was asked to sit quietly and read books and please stop asking all the strangers in the waiting room their life stories, and then sit in the exam room with me and wait while my doctor delivered some other woman’s baby, then finally came and confirmed that BB was a girl and wasn’t that wonderful and then left and I was like, “Seriously, I could have sent you a letter,” but then I had to get blood drawn anyway which MM thought was fascinating and boring all that the same time and we finally got home at 3:30pm at which point MM was pretty much ape shit and tried to tell me he didn’t need a nap and I laughed and said something like, “Sucks to be you.” And then he napped. And I had a baby girl growing inside of me. And it was awesome. And I was starving. I really should have finished my lunch before I left that morning.