Holding Shiva: RIP Freddy the Hamster

RIP Little Freddy the Hamster

Even though he smelled bad, he will be missed.

March 2008 – October 2008

I have so much I wanted to blog about today but it all seems trivial now. I’m in mourning people. I should be holding Shiva or something. Not yelling at toddlers and trying to decide what to post for Aloha Friday. Not filling out memes and yelling at toddlers. Not wondering what we’ll do this weekend and yelling at toddlers. Not yelling at toddlers and wondering if it’s lunchtime yet. I’m in SHIVA. I should be showing my respect like this:

I know, I suck at mourning properly. I’m not really sure how to go about it. Do I bake muffins a la Izzie or lay in the bathroom in a prom dress a la Izzie? Freddy was my first real death – I’ve never had to bury a pet before and haven’t had a truly loved one pass away yet. I’ve had family members die, but they were people I barely knew or was too young to understand. I’ve had pets “disappear” and you know, you assumed, but this was different. I cried. I berated myself mentally for not crying enough. And I wholly blame myself for his death. How do you deal with that? How do you go on from knowing your kind of a murderer (I’m being harsh, but only a little). I know more about myself from this small experience. We won’t be fish owning hamster owning people. We can’t do the pet in a cage thing. I can’t care for something in a corner that makes no noise, it just won’t happen, I’m not that person. But I feel terrible and he will be missed. Now I will have more mourning experience in life than one or two episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. So there’s that.

Oh well, time for a playdate, and life goes on. RIP Freddy.