The Post That Isn’t The Post

Still nothing. I’ll just get that out there right away since I’m sure many of my regular readers were hoping this would be The Post. I know I was hoping this would be The Post. I have been kind of avoidy lately – not wanting to answer the phone just to say, “No, nothing yet.” Not wanting to write another post about how we still haven’t heard anything. I keep hoping, if I just wait another hour or two, I’ll have something way better to write about than what I have to say now. Which is pretty much – we’re getting really impatient and grumpy and to top matters off, I have a soar throat, which is making me doubly grumpy. I’m hardly hungry at all, which is weird for a hungry pregnant woman. So far today I’ve had a small cup of yogurt, some ramen noodles, two cups of tea and a cup of coffee. And water. Formerly delicious, now mostly just a welcome relief to my thirst, water. I’m tired of being grumpy. I’m tired of my throat hurting. I’m tired of this gigantic belly that I can hardly complain about because “I haven’t gained any weight at all,” but I still feel like I’m trapped in someone else’s way less healthy, hugely pregnant body. I have no energy, I’m losing my good humor and I kind of just want to go back to bed. Except I don’t want to miss the moment when he finds out, because good lord it’s gotta happen soon. They wouldn’t actually make us wait a full two weeks would they??

I really want it to be Saturday, because by Saturday we’ll have found out one way or another, hopefully several days before then – and more importantly we have lots of plans this weekend with family that I’m looking forward to. Like breakfast at a restaurant my MIL has been recommending to me for like two years or something, my brother in law’s Eagle Scout ceremony, and Mother’s Day weekend. I can already tell you pretty plainly that I expect to get nothing for Mother’s Day (except that aforementioned breakfast out to eat) and I don’t really care. Our savings is dwindling away and knowing whether we’ll be employed again is present enough for me right now. I’d be a little furious if he bought a card and I doubt he’ll hand make one, although you never know. And MM? He’s only three so he certainly won’t be coming up with something on his own. Still, it’s a holiday and I am looking forward to it. Or at least the BBQ we’re going to that day at the in laws – and church that day looks like it will be a good one, according to the newsletter.

I am bummed about leaving this church if and when we move. I really like – I like the people, I love the stimulating information we seem to get each week, the discussion fodder it provides my husband and I – plus there is not much cuter than hearing your preschooler say, “I wanna go to church,” even when I know he’s only talking about all the toys in their nursery. It’s still nice to hear. I hope that the UU churches in the area are nice. I’ve looked at their websites but it’s kind of hard to get a feel for them that way. Will they be as nice as this one? Better? Or nothing like it. It saddens me that we’ve finally found a church we love and now we’re moving. And now when we go to church I kind of just feel like I’m going through the motions because it doesn’t really belong to me anymore. I know that’s not really true, but it’s how I feel. It’s how I feel about a lot of things. This isn’t really my apartment, it’s just the place I’m sleeping in, where all my stuff is, where I wait for an email from Dream Company. This isn’t really my library – it’s just building with books that I’m not sure I want to check out because I don’t know if I’ll have time to finish reading them before we move, if we move.

God help me if we don’t move – as much as it would make some things – like the birth of our second child – a little bit easier and our family would be kind of thrilled in spite of themselves. But we’ve already mentally said goodbye to this place. We’ve made tentative plans, googled preschools and grocery stores and UU churches. We’ve planned a google map complete with preferred hotels because we’re leaning towards driving to Dream State instead of flying so I don’t have to deal with another airport so soon – and so we can pretend we’re on vacation since we surely won’t be able to afford a real one. We’ve looked into the prices of moving companies and boxes, the apartment we want to live in, whose website is permanently open in a tab in my Firefox browser. We’ve looked into the area hospitals, the health insurance options, the OBGYNs in the area and which clinics I’d rather go to for prenatal appointments. I know where the closest pizza restaurants are. I’m ready. And tired of waiting.

Alright, hubby is mandating a family walk (in the cold, wet weather) to try and get some fresh air and improve all our moods. Because we’re all feeling about as pent up and annoyed as me – and I wouldn’t doubt if he’s feeling worse (minus the sore throat) what with this being his career on the line and all. Maybe we’ll come back to an answer?

Simple Woman’s Daybook: May 4th

Outside My Window: It’s been nice and cool and cloudy. The heat wave seems to be over and I’m content as I can still get by with my summer-ish wardrobe and maybe a light sweater. We’ve had a bit of rain but nothing remarkable.

I am hearing: Curious George on tv – we’re headed to my grandma’s for dinner soon but MM insists he finishes watching his show before his diaper change, after which we will leave.

I am thinking: Too many things at once – my brain is still pretty muddled with all the same things, trying to plan the upcoming weeks but pretty much completely unable to.

I am hoping:
that Dream Company gets back to Dan soon! So far nothing, although we did hear from his old boss that they contacted him for a reference this past Friday, so we know they are still doing something and hopefully we hear soon. Not that I’m getting impatient or anything. 😛

From The Kitchen
Monday: dinner at my grandmas
Tuesday: Spaghetti with mozzarella stuffed meatballs – yum!
Wednesday: Hot Dogs & Mac ‘n’ Cheese
Thursday: Hamburger Night
Friday: Chicken something or other

This menu is staring to look awfully repetitive but the price has been working well for us, so it will do for now. I look forward to being able to expand our menus even just a little bit…

I’m now reading: Lioness Rampant, the last book in the Alanna series by Tamora Pierce. I started reading Influence a couple of nights ago, only to realize it was absolutely nothing like what I thought it would be – you know, a memoir. It’s actually a coffee table book style collection of interviews with 20 famous-ish people who have “influenced” the Olsen twins. I really didn’t care for it at all and had no interest in the 20 people they interviewed so I abandoned it. I hope they do a real memoir someday, although I guess I’d expect that kind of book to come much later in their lives, which is fine.

I am creating: Nothing at the moment – I did take some pictures for my review of the Amazon Kindle 2 and shot the video for this week’s In My Opinion video meme (click the link for this week’s questions if you want to play along), so that’s sort of creative… I guess.

Around the house: We’ve been cleaning up clutter mostly, it’s been nice to see a lot of old junk go but we have a lot more left to do!

One of my favorite things: We’ve been teaching MM to spell a bit. Still very early on in the process but it’s been really cute. We got a book from Frecklebox (to review for Mommas Review) that has his name splashed all over it and we’ve been loving using that to help him learn to spell his name and dude it works and he loves it!

A few plans for the rest of the week: That totally depends on when Dream Company gets back to us and what they say. If it’s a yes, we’ll be calling moving companies and packing, etc. If it’s a no, hubby has a couple companies lined up to apply to via recommendations from some friends. Oh and tv of course, because you know I run my life by the tv schedule.

A Picture Thought: Here’s a cute picture of MM eating dinner with one of his new favorite bedtime / all the time stuffed animals – a little stuffed Westie that follows him everywhere, even to the breakfast table apparently. Picture captured by daddy.

Here, Sort Of

Yeah I know, I’ve become a disappearing act. To be fair, I’ve barely been home and when I have been home I was dealing with the Case Of The Disappearing Internet. Or rather, hubby has been tinkering and it took out my internet for awhile and then he had to scratch is head and fume at my iMac for awhile because they don’t speak the same language apparently. Something about Arabic. Anyway, I’m sort of back now, but I know my posting is going to be pathetic and my blog reading is even worse probably. I’m here, sort of. I’m trying to plan so many aspects of this move at the same time that it makes my head spin and we haven’t even gotten an official job offer. I’m feeling impatient but really it’s only Tuesday and I won’t be surprised if we don’t hear from them before Friday afternoon. Whatever. Then I need to find an apartment, a moving company and health insurance in like the blink of an eye and you know, pack and move and get my address changd for like a gazillion things and actually move. Gah. Whose brilliant idea was this again?

Simple Woman’s Daybook: April 20

I almost never do this meme but my thoughts and life are so all over the place I thought this might help me to get all the miscellaneousness out into blog form. Plus Jean does it, so clearly it’s cool.

Outside My Window: Spring has finally sprung. Warmer weather has prevailed for the most part, although the wind has kept today pretty cool despite supposedly high temperatures. And it’s only supposed to get warmer from here on out. The trees are also starting to bud which is good to see, after this winter’s ice storms I was a bit worried as to how many trees would actually survive but the cycle of life seems to be carrying on okay.

I am hearing: Sweet silence. The boy is napping and Dan is working on a presentation because…

I am thinking: HURRAY! Dream Company is flying out Dan and I for an in person interview. We’ll be getting there the day before the interview to “sight-see” around the area. We’re planning to go apartment hunting and look at the five places I’ve narrowed my list down to thanks to internet searching. Assuming that they can give him a yes or no answer by the time he leaves the interview, we may be able to put down a deposit before we fly home. ::fingers crossed::

I am hoping: That Dream Company gets back to us tonight with flight plans. I’d love to be able to start planning for that ASAP. I already have my doctor’s written seal of approval to fly and as soon as I have dates I can arrange child care for MM and set up some appointments to look at apartments while we’re there. I’m not jumping the gun on this, I don’t think. I want to have anything planned that I can in the event that they are smart and hire him.

From The Kitchen – This whole menu is subject to change if we find ourselves traveling really soon.
Monday: We’re having dinner at my grandma’s tonight – yay for not cooking!
Tuesday: Spaghetti Bolognese – my husband is very excited, he loved this dish the last time I made it. I’m excited to have him home to sauté the onions for me.
Wednesday: Cheesy Chicken & Vegetables thing – I’m trying to make mac & cheese look healthy basically
Thursday: Burger night – I’ll be putting BBQ sauce and sweet pickle relish on mine – oh and cheese obviously
Friday: I’ll have the hubs make pepperoni pizza

I am reading: The Host by Stephenie Meyer – finally, I know. I’m about 200 pages in and mostly loving it. It’s long dude, but the story is very riveting and I’m definitely in it for the long haul. I’m occasionally loathing half the main “character,” Melenie. Sure I feel sorry for her, but sometimes her dumbness just annoys me. And I’m pretty curious to see how their little love triangle could possibly work out, although right now them surviving seems to be top priority over any love connections that might work out. I’m liking it, it’d be easier if I weren’t always exhausted by the time I sat down to read at night.

I am creating: A cookbook – I’m reviewing the bookmaking website blurb.com for Momma’s Review and making a book of all of our favorite family recipes. It’s been quite a task gathering all those recipes, since they are currently all over the place in various forms of “organization” but I love their software so far and all the control they give you creatively. I look forward to seeing / using the final product.

Around the house: I’m trying to get laundry done but more people seem to be home during the week than normal and the laundry room “schedule” seems to be  a bit crazy. I got one load in and I’ll try again tomorrow, unfortunately I wasn’t able to battle for my territory since I had other things to do today, too. Oh well. In the meantime, I’m now looking around the apartment, picturing everything in boxes, which it might be soon if we get this job. I wonder how quickly we’ll be able to move…

One of my favorite things: Having that sweet husband of mine home to help with cooking and playing with the boy. Also getting to visit family a lot more often than usual, trying to squeeze it all in now while we can in case this Really Does Happen.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Look for a new pair of maternity pants – preferably something non-denim and inexpensive; Get Dan’s hair cut for the interview, likely start packing for the flight soon & all that jazz that I mentioned above.

A Picture Thought: How cute are my boys in this adorable shot? I don’t think I’ve posted this one yet, but my appologies if I have. Pregnant brain and all.

I’m Dreaming Of Paid Employment

We got an email from Dream Company today basically just saying, “We received your written exam (which he took last Monday) and it is now being graded.” After it’s graded, his entire application process will be reviewed by the company and then a decision will be made as to whether to contact him for an in person interview. That process of grading and reviewing will take 1-2 weeks with a chance of a delay. They’ve been fairly prompt so far, all things considered so I’m crossing my fingers that maybe by next Monday we’ll know if he’s getting an in person interview. It’s a good thing this is all for a company that we’re half in love with, otherwise I’d have lost interest in the whole process by now. But it’s still something we really want so I’m hoping.

Other than this, he’s only had contact from two companies and two or three staffing agencies. One of the companies turned him down for lack of experience with Java, the other company has just started their hiring process and may get back to us at a later date. All the staffing agencies seem to like him but haven’t actually offered him any leads yet. So really Dream Company is our most promising prospect right now. He applied to four more jobs this morning that are all relatively in the area which could be nice. Especially if it meant not moving out of state because THEN I’d get to keep my health insurance.

But for some reason, despite set backs like that, the prospect of moving to a new place still thrills me. Like setting out on a grand adventure, starting over, discovering a new place. I love to travel and I’ve moved a lot growing up, so this desire to move probably stems from that, but really, it wouldn’t be terrible. I’d like the idea of setting down roots somewhere new, even if not permanently. Finding this new place to call home and really coming together and strengthening as a family unit. Smaller holidays would be both good and bad – I’d miss our friends and family but I’d also welcome the challenge of creating a good life for ourselves. And a lower cost of living just makes all of this all the more appealing. Plus, the economy is really in a bad place so any good job would be welcomed at this point, distance or no.

We figure that worst case scenario we’ll have a maybe or no answer from Dream Company by May 4. If he flew out for an interview the following week and was accepted, we could be into the new state by June easily. If they turn him down, at least we’ll know and we can stop waiting not terribly patiently to hear back. We could still end up anywhere at this point, but I’d love it if wherever it is could be figured out soon. Next week is my prenatal appointment so the good news is that I should have no problem keeping the appointment and will then have another month I think until the next appointment, wherever that is.

So Here’s What’s Up

Spring has sprung and life continues to change. For us it’s changing a lot. My husband’s company literally ran out of money, forcing them to “lay him off” – i.e. they had nothing to pay him with so he has no job. This happened last week. We’re doing okay. We’re job hunting, we filed for unemployment, we’re doing all the normal things you do. Nobody is freaking out, for the most part. Money is tight. But we’re doing okay.

We’ve told our parents and a few other people but there are still a lot of people who don’t know – talk about a weird subject to bring up – mostly I just don’t know where to start – or don’t want to talk about it – you know we’re dealing with it but I’m really doing fine and just don’t want to talk about it mostly. All we can do is look for new work. Where that new work will be, I have no idea. We are looking in this area but there isn’t much that wouldn’t involve a ridiculous commute. We’re looking further away and have this one state that we are kind of half in love with but it’s over 1,000 miles away – i.e. over 13 hours drive away – i.e. kissing our support network goodbye. All our friends and family, for the most part, live very close by and that would cease to exist. It should bother us more than it does I’m thinking.

Part of me wants to go – the cost of living here is terrible, as I’ve mentioned before and frankly it sounds like an adventure to me. But I’d miss people – and it’s scary, the idea of breaking off – especially being all 22 weeks pregnant and whatnot – that would likely mean finding a new doctor, new health insurance, a new hospital – and who knows who’d be able to come see the new baby, much less watch MM while I’m in the hospital. It’d be tough. But obviously people do it.

So you know it sucks but in some ways it’s almost awesome – a big chance for change – but it’s no secret this economy sucks and mostly I’m just hoping we can find work before our money dries up. And that’s pretty much all I feel like saying about that. For now. If you’ve noticed me being less chatty than usual / abandoning Twitter, etc. that’s why. The small talk is kind of wearing on me to be honest – plus with Dan home, I’m trying to spend time with him instead of just playing on my computer. I’m also helping him job hunt and applying for any government aid I think we can get. Every little bit helps right? Lord knows how long this job hunt will last. I’m still reading your blogs and mostly commenting but I’m also still laying low. Don’t take it personally – I’m sure I’ll get back in the swing of things before you know it.