Apple Fritters: The World’s Most Dangerous Dessert

It’s been one of those days. The fact that it’s only 11am and I’m already saying it’s been one of those days should tell you that it hasn’t been a particularly good day.

It started last night, when I woke up from a somewhat bad dream – not a nightmare but still a bit disturbing. I won’t go into details because I don’t feel like it and you probably don’t really care. Does anybody really like hearing about other people’s dreams? Anyway, I woke up around 2 or 3 am – I’m not really sure what time it was really, I’m just guessing.

But I couldn’t fall back asleep. I lay awake dwelling on the dream for longer than the dream warranted and then started dwelling on other things that are only important at 4 in the morning. I was convinced I should just get up because I wouldn’t fall back asleep but eventually I did, just long enough to be annoyed when it was time to wake up.

I fed the kids breakfast, made myself some oatmeal, fought with MM over why he couldn’t wear the same outfit (exactly) that he wore yesterday and why he needed to wear jeans instead of shorts and socks instead of going bare foot and…. I ended up running late getting the kids out the door for a walk we had scheduled this morning with friends at Olbrich Botanical Gardens (my favorite). There were four of us scheduled to walk but only two of us showed up. No idea why really. But so I felt bad being 15 minutes late and keeping my friend waiting, but the weather was nice so we walked.

I was tired. Absolutely dragging. BB didn’t want to hold my hand. Or walk at remotely the same pace or in the same direction as us. I took some pictures – they might be pretty, I’ll look at them later and post any good one here (obvy). The walk was nice, the company was good but I was tired…. So on the way home we stopped for coffee at Starbucks.

Already the “I wants” begin. We aren’t even out of the car and MM is leveraging for a snack and a drink. BB wants goldfish. BB always wants goldfish. We got out of the car and walked to the sidewalk. MM ran face first into the side mirror on my door. Water works.

I eventually calmed him down. We went inside. Starbucks was absolutely packed. No tables free. We went to line to at least get my coffee but somehow ended up with a bag of popcorn and a milk box and then… I saw an Apple Fritter. I thought of Ree (who wouldn’t?). A small voice in my head thought caution. This might not end well. A bigger part of my head thought apple fritter. A stern responsible voice added diet. That other voice insisted apple fritter. It’ll be fine, I thought. I ordered the apple fritter. I fought with my change purse. I found the change. I bought the apple fritter and other various sundries.

A tiny table in the back was available with one chair. I sat MM down, planning to linger with my coffee and apple fritter. I asked a woman sitting at a two seater table alone if I could use the other chair for BB. She agreed. I had just gotten BB sitting down when she offered us her table so we could have three seats. Score. I tried to very cleverly move BB in her chair to the other table. She liked the table she was at and told me so by holding onto it while I moved the chair and then face planting on the hard floor below. People stared.

She screamed. She told me in her two year old kind of way that I had deeply upset her and that I was going to have to make this up to her with goldfish and anything else her tiny heart desires. She sat in my lap at our table with three seats sobbing for a bit until I convinced her to sit in her chair with goldfish, MM in his with popcorn. They shared the milk (not happily mind you). I ate my damned apple fritter. It was delicious. I had to share with both kids even though neither offered to share their snacks with me. I decided it was life’s way of making me pay penance for even attempting to eat an apple fritter. I should have known better. But I really thought things would be okay. And I mean,it was delicious and nobody needed to go to the emergency room and no glass was broken and we all got home in one piece and it was delicious. So… I guess we made out okay.

But you should known – those apple fritters are dangerous. Eat them at your own risk. You’ve been warned.

5 thoughts on “Apple Fritters: The World’s Most Dangerous Dessert

  1. I loved Ree’s apple fritter story..fritters are dangerous ! I could use a fritter myself..minus any complications 🙂


    1. Yeah I felt bad for Laura waiting for me as I was running late. We had a nice walk, I don’t know why nobody else showed up. Very strange. Hopefully we can hang out soon!

      At least I did get the fritter and more importantly some coffee and naptime is just around the corner…..


  2. Well, shoot. I could have made it to Olbrich then. I was going to be 30 min late, so I changed my RSVP to “no” this morning. Since you ran late as well, it would have been worth showing up for. I saw it was suppossed to be a big group so I didn’t want to inconvenience everyone. I should have called you! Oh well, my dad stopped by unexpectedly this morning, so maybe its good I stayed home. Next time!


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