*Baby Blueberry Birth Week* T13: Thirteen Pieces of ASSvice, Tips and Formulas*

This is Jean @ workingmomma247 – Jen’s favorite Texan. Jen wanted us to share our birth story or parenting advice of how to handle more than 1 small child. I bring you 13 mom of multiple kid survival assvice tips and formulas. You can cry on my shoulder or thank me later – which ever you prefer. 🙂

I’d love to tell you Jen, that having 2 will be a piece of cake, but that would give you the sunshine and ponies version and I don’t do sunshine and ponies.

  1. The first hurdle to cross is getting both kids to sleep at the same time, it won’t happen often if ever. Your best chances are when they are riding in the car. Good luck with getting them both out of the car without waking one or both.
  2. Your laundry pile will have doubled, even though it’s just one extra little person. I’m sorry but it only gets worse as they get older. I’m pretty sure there’s a quadratic equation to the age of the child- in ratio to number people in the house- squared- divided by 7(loads per day). You should feel so lucky that I’m giving you the top secret formula for laundry. Other moms would kill for this information.
  3. Sleep deprivation will become a privilege and not a right. You can sleep when they sleep…you know that sweet 15 minutes they are BOTH asleep.
  4. You will officially be the last person to eat always. Hope you like your eggs cold.
  5. Start an emergency stock pile of secret chocolate now. You’ll thank me later.
  6. You will miraculously grow octopus arms that you didn’t know you had, sure you thought you had them with one, but you get an extra set with two.
  7. Cleaning your house is an option and not really a priority. As I’ve said many many times before; what’s the point? It’s just going to get dirty again anyway.
  8. Your reading time may hit a small hiatus. I’m sorry to have to say that; though blog time is a necessity and must still be done daily or receive protest from your favorite reader(s)…ahem..cough. Priorities ya know.
  9. There is also a special equation for the number of baby/kid items needed in ratio to the type of car trip and size of car- which is usally greater or equal to the cars weight in mass. Your hubs seems to be a smart man, I’m sure he can figure that one out.
  10. Baby items such as wipe warmers and diaper genies are the stupidest invention on the Earth. Friends don’t let friends use diaper genies.
  11. Always pack more diapers and wipes than you antcipate. A blow out can happen anytime anywhere. There’s a formula for that one too. You didn’t know I was a mommy math genius did you?
  12. A happy baby is a well burped baby.
  13. The formula for the amount of love you never thought your heart had the capacity to hold for one much less two sweet babies, is infinity x infinity cubed.

For more Thursday 13 participants check out the new home of Thursday Thirteen!

Big thanks to Jean for her brutally honest advice and invaluable formulas for success – if your friends won’t tell you this stuff, who will, right? What guest posts do I have lined up for tomorrow? You’ll have to check back to find out…

Thirty Four Days? Holy Cupcake Batman!

July 21st is in just thirty four days. Part of me wants to snarkily add, “July 21 isn’t for 34 more days! ::sobs into hanky::” but seriously? Thirty four days. That’s soon! And we still have a lot to do – like packing the overnight bag – oh and we need to put together at least the co-sleeper and soon the crib also. We need to assemble the baby swing and find all that other baby gear. I need to go through our various piles of baby stuff and figure out what we actually have and what we actually need. I need to acquire an infant car seat – my lovely bestie Andrea is trying to get me one from Graco to review on Mommas Review, but if that doesn’t work I need to head to the store and make some decisions – like – do I go for a travel system again or just grab a car seat – or grab a car seat now and get the stroller later? Or get one of those little stroller-like devices that the car seat attaches to but will only work during the infancy stage? Graco? Baby Trend? Evenflo? Pretty pink girly pattern or a cautious neutral? Amazon, Babies’R’Us, Target, Walmart, Burlington Coat Factory, sketchy back alley dumpsters?

We also still need to get MM a new bed before my grandmother shows up. Have I told you our plan? My grandma, the angel, is staying with us for two weeks – she’ll be coming the Friday before my c-section and then staying for two weeks – and our plan is to buy MM a new bed with a slightly better mattress, a box spring and a bed frame – so that she can sleep on something resembling a real bed instead of just a twin mattress on the floor or our terrible couch – and MM will move onto it after she leaves. His old mattress we will save for BB to use when she’s older. We were going to buy him the whole kit and kaboodle – you know headboard, footboard, etc. But then Dan was like, “Wait a minute – we don’t even have a headboard or footboard on OUR bed? We could save a ton of money if we just get him the same set up we have. And he was right. So I agreed. We’re thinking if the kids really like rooming together we might get them a bunk bed when they are older and eventually get ourselves a full bedroom set also – but that’s like way out there, daydreaming kind of thing. This is now – with less than thirty four days to figure it out.

Anyway – so I need to get the bed, weed through our baby stuff, come by an infant car seat and oh yes – the blog. I go in for my cesarean Tuesday July 21st and I’ll be staying in the hospital for 2-4 days depending on recovery, etc. I will not be twittering during the operation or anything like that and I honestly don’t know when I’ll get to my blog again, though I promise to post an update as soon as possible, hopefully with pictures – but as far as real content – it’s kind of dependent on when I come home, how I’m feeling and how demanding newborns are these days. But I was thinking I should make a game plan – arrange for some content for your reading pleasure now, and mine later – or … how about before?

See, I’m thinking guest postswith your best birth stories, newborn stories, tips for either, whatever – hit me with your best stuff – but send it out to me before the big day so I can read the posts and soak up all that great advice, wisdom and I’m sure a good deal of wit and humor, too – beforehand, so I can USE it when it counts and read it when I’m conscious enough to actually take it all in and remember some of it. Lord knows I’ll be mostly incoherent for awhile afterwards. SO:

If you have a great (or terrible) birth story, some tales from the newborn days (first, second, third, fifteenth child – whatever, I’m not picky), some tips or well wishes that you’d like to share, I’d love to feature them as “Guest Posts” on my blog during the week of July 20th. Send me a story anytime between now and Thursday July 16th and I’ll schedule it to run during the week I’m away. If you want to post something meme-y or carnival-like in nature, let me know and I’ll make sure it’s scheduled to run on the appropriate date. You know, whatever’s clever.

Send any guest posts, ideas, questions or offers for free baby stuff to mommablogsalot (at) gmail (dot) com.

If this doesn’t work, I’ll have to make stuff up and that might get pretty dreadful, so please help a future momma of two out!

3 Things You Wish You'd Known at 20

I am 16 going on 17
I know that I’m naive
Fellows I meet may tell me I’m sweet
And willingly I believe

I need someone
Older and wiser
Telling me what to do
You are 17 going on 18
I’ll depend on you

lyrics from 16 Going on 17 in The Sound of Music

I am 25 (going on 26). So when I read the bloggy meme @ On Simplicity, 3 Things You Wish You’d Known At 20, I kinda figured I might not be old enough for this. I mean, sure there are things I didn’t know at 20 that I know now – but do any of them matter so much that I’d have truly benefited from knowing them just 5 years sooner? But then again, it’s only three things – And maybe, since I’m young, I’ll extend it back a bit and say, there are a few things I wish I’d known at 17 that I know now. For instance:

  1. He’s Just Not That Into You. No bad relationship is worth staying in. No guy is worth putting up with if he’s not treating you like a freaking Goddess. When the right guy comes along, none of the jerks will matter – so you can date 3 or you can date 33, and it really won’t make a difference. The right guy will not need to “change” – he will not need to grow out of things, get over things, or See The Big Picture. He will love you unconditionally. Now suppose you are with the Right Guy but he’s not acting like the Right Guy? I say, kick him to the curb anyway. You don’t need to put up with it, and if he’s truly the Right Guy, he’ll figure it out and come find you when he’s ready to start acting like it. He can be the Right Guy later, and in the meantime, you can stop listening to so many sappy sad love songs.
  2. GO TO CLASS. LEARN. Learn anything you can! Study more. Date less. Stop wasting time with men like the ones mentioned in #1 and spend more time learning everything you can. All that knowledge is right there for the taking and you are pissing it away so you can date and have fun and be with boys who won’t matter at all. In 5 years you’ll be married and have an adorable kid, and you won’t be in school anymore. And you won’t be able to take that awesome course or that one either. And you won’t remember a gazillion fascinating lectures that you half slept through because you were so tired from going to that party last night…
  3. Watch your weight. You might be 110 pounds right now (and darnit, YES you are pretty), but if you keep eating the way you eat, and keep refraining from all forms of exercise, you will never be skinny ever again and all those bad habits will only get harder to change. Drink more water. Stop using elevators. Eat breakfast in the morning. Don’t eat dessert every night. Dr. Pepper does not count as a breakfast or a dinner. Never eat breakfast if you haven’t gone to sleep yet – GO TO SLEEP AT A REASONABLE HOUR. That’s part and parcel with being healthy. Do this and maybe you can keep your incredible figure.

Wow, I’m pretty smart now at the wise, sage old age of 25. I can only imagine how much I’ll know in another five or ten years. I guess I’ll have to wait until I blog about it then to find out…

So what do you wish you’d known at 20? And, in an effort to not alienate any readers if you are 20(ish) now, what things do you WISH you knew now?

Pizza Angels Don't Protect Against Punches

After reading about the silly song Pizza Angel on Callapidder Days‘ blog, I got really excited about renting Minnesota Cuke – one of the many Veggie Videos I’ve somehow managed to not see yet. I was even more excited when I found out the video is a loose interpretation of the Indiana Jones series – which I have only just recently watched in the series’ entirety and become a fan of (despite the utter lameness that was the second movie, Temple of BOOOOOOO – everyone knows the last movie was the best – except my husband’s boss who swears the first one was the best movie ever made, hands down – which is wrong, but that’s okay – to each their own) – my husband was equally enthused, so we popped the movie in after MM went to bed, and watched it for my second time, just ourselves – hooting and hollerin’ with laughter at the veggie hilarity that ensued.

We loved the Pizza Angel silly song, and adored the Minnesota Cuke storyline, which correlates so wonderfully with the Indiana Jones movies, somehow managing to fit in bits and pieces from all three movies with ease in 20 minutes. There was one small thing about this 1 hour disc on dealing with bullies that I didn’t love though, and I’d love your feedback on this.

The Veggie Tales approved method for dealing with bullies, is apparently, to simply allow bullies to pummel you, and do nothing – I get not condoning violence – and I get standing up to bullies and letting them know you don’t fear them – I truly, truly do. But I don’t get “turning the cheek” and letting someone beat you to a pulp and doing nothing – nothing, really? They can’t even learn to defend themselves? They should simply “trust in god?” the invisible somebody to take care of it for them – I don’t think this should be how people see God – as some invisible force that will solve all their problems – I think there is a lot to be said for solving your own problems.

I am not saying Junior Sparagus should be fighting these bullies and picking fights of his own – I’m not saying he should seek revenge which is something I don’t believe in. I’m saying he should block a punch or two, and try to keep himself from black and blue futures – he shouldn’t allow himself to be stuffed into lockers and he shouldn’t simply “turn his cheek” – that just seems foolish.

Everything else I’m fine with – I’m fine with loving our enemies – I get that those enemies are likely hurting somewhere inside themselves and it’s likey why they are bullies – I think talking out your problems first is sensible and smart – but taking a beating and not defending yourself just seems dumb to me. Sorry to anyone who disagrees.

I’ve always thought Junior was just asking for a beating with some of his other actions, but I expected he’d at least learn to defend himself. Seriously.