*Baby Blueberry Birth Week* T13: Thirteen Pieces of ASSvice, Tips and Formulas*

This is Jean @ workingmomma247 – Jen’s favorite Texan. Jen wanted us to share our birth story or parenting advice of how to handle more than 1 small child. I bring you 13 mom of multiple kid survival assvice tips and formulas. You can cry on my shoulder or thank me later – which ever you prefer. 🙂

I’d love to tell you Jen, that having 2 will be a piece of cake, but that would give you the sunshine and ponies version and I don’t do sunshine and ponies.

  1. The first hurdle to cross is getting both kids to sleep at the same time, it won’t happen often if ever. Your best chances are when they are riding in the car. Good luck with getting them both out of the car without waking one or both.
  2. Your laundry pile will have doubled, even though it’s just one extra little person. I’m sorry but it only gets worse as they get older. I’m pretty sure there’s a quadratic equation to the age of the child- in ratio to number people in the house- squared- divided by 7(loads per day). You should feel so lucky that I’m giving you the top secret formula for laundry. Other moms would kill for this information.
  3. Sleep deprivation will become a privilege and not a right. You can sleep when they sleep…you know that sweet 15 minutes they are BOTH asleep.
  4. You will officially be the last person to eat always. Hope you like your eggs cold.
  5. Start an emergency stock pile of secret chocolate now. You’ll thank me later.
  6. You will miraculously grow octopus arms that you didn’t know you had, sure you thought you had them with one, but you get an extra set with two.
  7. Cleaning your house is an option and not really a priority. As I’ve said many many times before; what’s the point? It’s just going to get dirty again anyway.
  8. Your reading time may hit a small hiatus. I’m sorry to have to say that; though blog time is a necessity and must still be done daily or receive protest from your favorite reader(s)…ahem..cough. Priorities ya know.
  9. There is also a special equation for the number of baby/kid items needed in ratio to the type of car trip and size of car- which is usally greater or equal to the cars weight in mass. Your hubs seems to be a smart man, I’m sure he can figure that one out.
  10. Baby items such as wipe warmers and diaper genies are the stupidest invention on the Earth. Friends don’t let friends use diaper genies.
  11. Always pack more diapers and wipes than you antcipate. A blow out can happen anytime anywhere. There’s a formula for that one too. You didn’t know I was a mommy math genius did you?
  12. A happy baby is a well burped baby.
  13. The formula for the amount of love you never thought your heart had the capacity to hold for one much less two sweet babies, is infinity x infinity cubed.

For more Thursday 13 participants check out the new home of Thursday Thirteen!

Big thanks to Jean for her brutally honest advice and invaluable formulas for success – if your friends won’t tell you this stuff, who will, right? What guest posts do I have lined up for tomorrow? You’ll have to check back to find out…

3 Comments

  1. “Friends don’t let friends use diaper genies.” cracked me up. That should totally be a bumper sticker.

    Stopped in to see if you posted any pics of BB. Can’t wait to see her!!

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