i am, i think, i know…

i am: watching Curious George with the boys for the 876th time. At least.
i think: way too much about way too many things, probably like all mothers.
i know: that I am blessed with the good fortune I’ve had in life.
i want: a big house with a big family, lots of laughter and memories.
i have: a pretty amazing, insanely clever son and husband.
i wish: I could get up and go traveling every time I got an itch of wanderlust.
i hate: hatred, war, famine, ignorance, crime, suffering of the world.
i miss: bits and pieces of my life before motherhood.
i fear: being buried alive, now thanks to the TV show Bones
i feel: a little sick to my stomach and I’m trying hard not to jump to conclusions.
i hear: George and the Man With the Yellow Hat playing peekaboo…
i smell: nothing in particular thanks to seasonal allergies.
i crave: chocolate. [mmm, I second that, but then, when is that not true?]
i search: online for the greatest family vacation under the sun…
i wonder: what my son will be like when he is older, how many children will we have, where will we go from here? What awaits us in the future, even fifteen minutes in the future is a mystery some days…
i regret: dating as much as I did – only because I can’t help think how much of that energy could have gone towards my education instead. I may never get to go back to school and sometimes none of the dating I did seems worthwhile looking back now. I miss school though, the classes and projects. I eagerly await helping MLM with his own homework someday…
i love: filling out surveys so I can blabber on about myself even more than usual.
i ache: everywhere, all the time most days – I’ve always had kind of a bad back and it’s only getting worse with age unfortunately…
i care: too much about what others think of me. Am I funny enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? GOOD enough? Do they really like me? Will they be gone tomorrow?
i always: dwell in the future or the past – I have a hard time living in the moment.
i am not: perfect – I don’t say the right thing, I lack in basic social graces, I wipe my hands on my clothes instead of a napkin, I feel awkward all the time.
i believe: that in spite of that, I’m a good person with a lot to offer to the world.
i dance: around the living room with my son to make him laugh.
i sing: Veggie Tales Silly Songs all the time, even when they aren’t playing (which isn’t often these days…)
i don’t always: eat breakfast in the morning, even when I know I should.
i fight: with my husband and always feel insanely guilty afterward. We are still at that stage where no fight can go unresolved by the end of the night. It’s nice.
i write: because I couldn’t possibly not write.
i win: a lot when I play games with my friends, but..
i lose: frequently when I play those games with my husband.
i never: got to do a lot of childhood things like going on a picnic, flying a kite, girl scouts or summer camp.
i confuse: my husband all the freaking time.
i listen: to my son all day…
i can usually be found: flitting between the living room, kitchen and my son’s room.
i am scared: of abandonment and death.
i need: books to stay sane.
i am happy about: how things have turned out so far…

One Reply to “i am, i think, i know…”

  1. lol this is hilarious! What a great idea. I might have to try this sometime. I especially love how you pointed out that this is another way for you to talk about yourself- who doesn’t love talking about themselves! Thanks for all the great comments on my blog… I loved how you pointed out that everyone had their wedding rings… so true! Anyway, I enjoy your blog very much && kudos for the survey idea!


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