So I was Twitter-Stalking a few minutes ago (oh yeah I’m using Twitter again – my son will be thrilled, cause he was hoping I’d add something new to my list of ways to avoid responsibility – follow me!) and Badass Geek casually wrote about how brownies are the perfect breakfast food (and anytime food for that matter) and suddenly, just like that, the craving hit. You know – the “you can literally taste and smell delicious perfect brownie all around you” craving. I could feel myself drooling within mere seconds of reading that damned twitter message and now just moments later I can already see how this going to go down…

I present to you the Twelves Steps of Crazy Pregnant Cravings

Step One: You laugh at the notion of a silly craving – who’s in charge here, really? Surely I cannot be undone by simply thinking about a food.

Step Two: You find yourself mentally taking inventory of your kitchen – do I have the ingredients on hand to make brownies?

Step Three: Repent. You consider how many calories are in one brownie – and how many would be in an entire pan of brownies – who is going to help you eat all of that delicious brownie goodness? Surely not your non-pregnant husband who actually takes his diet seriously.

Step Four: Clearly, you realize you need to find a way to obtain just one brownie, for the sake of your diet. You begin mapping out the locations of every place within ten miles where a brownie can be gotten.

Step Five: You wonder if it is economically wise to drive to a store to buy one brownie – and how much will this one brownie cost anyway?

Step Six: You recall that you have a Weight Watchers cake-like thing in the freezer that could possibly be considered brownie-like – will my stomach be fooled by such an imposter?

Step Seven: You eat the Weight Watchers CLT just to be sure – but find that, though mildly delicious, it tastes nothing like a brownie.

Step Eight: Digging through the cupboards, you find all the ingredients you need (and / or go to the store for what you don’t have) and make a pan of brownies.

Step Nine: Indulge in sweet, delicious brownie – marvel at the flavor – this was the best idea you’ve had all day!

Step Ten: Re-remember those pesky calories already, adding the Weight Watchers CLT you ate before the brownie and suddenly become racked with guilt.

Step Eleven: Craving completed, you can’t bring yourself to eat more than three of the other delicious brownies. Your husband may dutifully eat a couple to make you feel better, but the pan remains largely untouched.

Step Twelve: Wake up one morning to discover barely touched pan of stale brownies which were never properly stored, that now smell kind of funky and hold no appeal. Throw out offending left overs and vow to not repeat the twelve steps again (but you will).

This could get ugly. I’m hoping that by having blogged about it, I’ll be able to resist the urge to go there… Mental note: convince my husband to pick me up a brownie on the way home from work tonight…