MM’s 5th Grade teacher is coming to our house tonight for a home visit (this is a normal end of summer thing that the teachers at our school do to get to know the kids coming into their classroom for the first time – sounded weird to me two years ago, but tbh it’s awesome and helpful). MM is really excited about the meeting and I am looking forward to it, but now when I look around at my house it looks like a tornado hit it. Literally. Partly because we just got back to town after a vacation and partly because I’m a terrible excuse for a housewife. So today we’re deep cleaning or at least pretending to. I’ve got dinner cooking in the crock pot and my kids are playing “Dust Busters” like Ghostbusters but with dust. I can think of about 37 million things that sound more fun than this.

Here are 9.

1. 

   Inventing a transportinator that can just suck up all the clutter in my house and transport it somewhere else. Like Michigan maybe. How much of our stuff would I never notice was gone afterwards?

2. Taking a long walk in a bookstore. I don’t even need to buy anything, I just want to caress the book spines and play, “Own it, own it, read it, ohhhh haven’t read this one yet!” and I mean if some of the books want to fall into my arms and never let me go… I get that. I’m there for them.
3. Back in our Vegas hotel suite where all of our messes are magically swept away by housekeeping and nobody is asking me for anything. Maybe I’ll walk over to the Paris Baguette later and get a latte and a pastry and watch whoever is performing in St. Mark’s Square. Maybe I’ll watch the Beverly Hillbillies on tv again while nibbling on chocolates from a shop in the Grand Canal area.
4. Netflix and actually chill. There are a ton of shows on Netflix that I’ve been meaning to check out. The kids will be totally busy doing something in their rooms that is not noisy or disruptive and they’ll feed themselves while I spend the whole day surfing Netflix. At lunchtime, they’ll bring me something to eat and my husband will bring home dinner from my favorite place and after the kids go to bed, wine will be served and I’ll stay up as late as I want but still get plenty of sleep so I won’t be too tired tomorrow.
5. 

   Taking a long walk in a botanical garden. It won’t be raining but it won’t be too hot either. It will be slightly cloudy so that the lighting will be utter perfection. All the flowers will be in bloom and there will be no wind so my camera won’t struggle to focus. I’ll take stunning pictures of the kids who won’t be impatient when I want to take a picture of every single flower we walk by.

6. Movie marathon! I’d take the kids to see all the movies left in theater that are age appropriate, then I’d drop the kids off with a babysitter who won’t charge me anything for leaving them with him or her while I go see all the other movies in theater. There will be unlimited nachos and free drinks (not just soda either, I’m talking martinis and wine and beer if my husband wants one) and twizzlers and the calories will be imaginary and I won’t gain any weight.
7. Meticulously going through the books on my bookshelves and deciding which ones I think I’ll actually read and which ones might be ready to find a new home. Then I’ll organize all the books that are left by color and take shelfies to post on Instagram. I won’t get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of books and I won’t have to stop so I can make someone lunch or answer questions about whether or not anyone can play Minecraft or put on dress up dresses. Nobody will ask me later why nothing got done today or be totally unimpressed with my bookshelves. Everyone will ohhh and ahh over my bookshelves and pose for pictures with them and then we’ll all grab a book and sit and read together and dinner will make itself.
8. Going to a spa to get a food massage and pedicure and then a 2 hour massage and then going to the salon to get my hair dyed some super cool color that won’t leave weird stains on my pillows and will never fade so I won’t need to get it touched up later and the stylist will be so proud of her work that she’ll refuse to charge me (don’t worry, I’ll still leave a tip) and afterwards I’ll go to a coffee shop and spend at least three hours just drinking a latte, reading a book and writing in my journal while listening to relaxing Indie music by that one band I really like.
9. Going on a surprise trip to Europe! The plane will allow us to check all of our luggage for free and the TSA will be like, “You look totes harmless, don’t worry about going through these long lines, have a great trip!” The plane seats will be super comfortable and there will be free meals and snacks and drinks and comfy neck pillows so I ca nap and that awesome movie I’ve been wanting to see will be playing and then we’ll stay in an adorable bed and breakfast and tour super historic old towns and go to museums and walk all day but never have sore feet and everything will be free and the kids will love it and we’ll be able to go to all the countries we want and still get back with plenty of time before school starts and when we get home the luggage will unpack itself and my house will have been deep cleaned by someone else who never leaves and cooks me dinner.

This post was made possible by viewers like you and Mama Kat’s World Famous Writer’s Workshop, in response to the prompt “List 9 things you’d rather be doing today.” What would YOU rather be doing today?